1. Say no. When you’re too nice, people expect you to always be accommodating, to always go out of your way to please them, to always say yes when they need you even if they say no to you because they got used to you being the one who’s always fitting your schedule around them.

2. Complain. They don’t expect you to have a voice or complain about something. They don’t think you have a limit and you know when you’ve had enough. They expect you to always nod and agree with everything they say.

3. Put yourself first. They will label you selfish, mean or say that’s just so ‘out of character’ because you always put yourself last. You have a history of taking care of others before your own and you’re not allowed to ever change that!

4. Have a bad day. If you’re not smiling from ear to ear, if you don’t shower them with compliments and affection then something must be terribly wrong with you.

5. Cut people out of your life. Because they expect you to always forgive, forget and move on like you always do. They know you have a sensitive heart and you’re easily swayed by what other people tell you. They don’t think you’re capable of setting boundaries because they think you probably don’t even know what they are.

6. Call people out. It’s like everyone can call people out except for you because you’re just not capable of offending anyone or standing up for yourself. They don’t expect you to get away with what they normally get away with because that’s just not your nature. 

7. Ask for a favor. You’re expected to be the one who is always helping out, the one who is always doing things for others but when it’s your turn to ask for a favor, it takes people by surprise and it’s like you’re asking them for a million dollars.

8. Give the silent treatment. It’s hard for people to accept the silent treatment from you because you’re always known for being too nice even if someone hurt you. You’re always giving someone third and fourth chances so you can’t possibly be human and decide not to talk to someone anymore.

9. Succeed. Unfortunately, people think that nice people are weak, unambitious and easily taken advantage of, so when you actually achieve something great, people are really confused because you don’t act like someone who can get what they want since you’re always going with the flow. They don’t see any strength or depth behind your ‘too nice’ façade.

10. Treat people the way they treat you. You’re expected to always be the bigger person, the nicer person, the more forgiving person, the person who lets the small things go, the person who doesn’t demand as much respect as others.

It’s sad that people think that when you’re too nice, you’re also dumb to the point that you’ll be a doormat. Luckily, that’s not the case because when you’re too nice, you also know when to draw the line.

Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.