You can’t lie to yourself.

You can’t just be okay with little or just enough.

You can’t just tell your heart not to feel. You can’t ask your mind not to expect. And you can’t tell yourself that you’re okay with less when you know you want more and when you know that they’re capable of giving you more.

You can’t keep up with random texts that are not followed by questions or responses. You can’t keep up with people who talk to you for a little while and then change their minds before even getting to know you. You can’t keep up with people using social media for ‘communication.’ You want real communication, consistency and deep conversations. You want to read eyes and body language and connect with souls instead of emojis or videos.

You can’t accept that the person you’re talking to is talking to someone else. You don’t understand how someone can use another person as a distraction. You can’t understand how someone can give their heart to more than one person at the same time. You want someone to take the time to get to know you and only you because that’s what you want, that’s what you always do. You want someone who wants to hear all about your past, your stories and the little things that only someone paying attention would notice. The little things that only someone who truly cares would notice.

You want to be reminded that you’re not alone, that you’re not imagining this relationship. That it’s not one-sided. That it’s not something you’re fantasizing about because it’s real. 

And someone who settles for less will never be able to give you more.

Someone who’s into casual dating will never give you commitment.

Someone who’s known for being selfish and just craves the attention will never give you loyalty.

Someone who’s used to falling for bodies instead of souls will never give you their heart.

Someone who doesn’t care about losing people will never do whatever it takes to keep you.

Someone who loves leaving will never know how to stay.

When you keep wanting more from those wanting less, you’ll always be stuck in situations that break your heart and make you question love. You will be forced to change your core, your beliefs and your values just because you want to keep them in your life for a little longer. You will be confused, angry and lonely most of the time. You’ll never understand them or understand yourself. You’ll always be one step behind. You’ll always feel good, but not great, not beautiful, not wonderful, not incredible.

When you keep wanting more from those wanting less, you eventually learn that this will get you nowhere. That it’s pointless. That there’s nothing romantic about it. You will learn that unless someone wants more, you’re better off on your own than with someone wanting less or someone stripping away your right to feel deeply or love passionately or someone reducing everything great about you.

Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.