They love us, they care about us, they want us safe and happy but sometimes they don’t know what makes us happy because they simply don’t know us. They don’t understand us.
Sometimes when they try to save us from the darkness they’re actually blocking the light.
Sometimes they don’t know that we want to make our own mistakes and learn from them, we want to feel like we’re allowed to mess up or want different things. Sometimes we just want to feel loved and accepted even if we’re not always understood.
Sometimes when people try to protect us, they’re actually harming us. They stop us from living and they stop us from experiencing things we need to experience so we can grow and learn how to be independent.
Sometimes when they love us, they hold us prisoners to their expectations and opinions, they put us in a cage they don’t want to release us from, but sometimes, they need to set us free so we can return to them, they need to let us be so we can love them back and they need to let us carve our own path — the path that makes sense to us even if it doesn’t make sense to them.
It’s hard for some people to understand that what they fear the most is actually what’s best for us, or what they always thought was wrong is right for us, but these are the moments when we need to be selfish and live our life the way we see it, the way we want to even if it means upsetting those who care about us.
Because one day, the people you love will move on, they might even move to a different country, they’ll get married and have kids and you’ll be the only one suffering the consequences of playing it safe, of listening to their words even when you didn’t agree, of accepting their ideas when you should have found your own and you’ll be a victim of their reason, a victim of their logic because you didn’t follow your heart.
Because you allowed your heart to give in to their words and their advice and forgot your own, you forgot what your heart beats for or how to set it free.
Sometimes those who love us want all the best for us, but they want it their way and sometimes their way will make you lose yours and sometimes their directions lead you to all the wrong destinations.
The best way is to love them back, to open the door for their words, their attention, their wisdom and guidance but we must always hold the key. We must always be the ones in control of our decisions, in control of our minds and in control of our hearts.
Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.