Maybe I Don’t Exactly Know What Love Is But I Know What It Feels Like

 Natalie Allen
Natalie Allen

Maybe I have an idealistic outlook on love inspired by feelings I’ve felt, moments I’ve had and people I’ve seen who loved each other more and more as they grew old.

Maybe I took the beauty of it and decided to throw away the pain, maybe I collected only the best moments of it and decided that this is all I need to know. Maybe I just created scenarios and used softer words and poetic lines to write a beautiful love story. Maybe I just imagined it and none of it was real.

Maybe I’m not finding it because I don’t know what I’m looking for or maybe I know exactly what I’m looking for but I just can’t find it.

But I know a thing or two about love — I know enough to make me believe in it.

I know that when someone loves you, they don’t leave you. They’re always there for you, they show up, they hold your hand and they love you even if you don’t check all their boxes. They don’t take the easy way out and they don’t run away.

I know when someone loves you, everyone can see it and everyone can feel it. Your friends, your family, your dog and most importantly — you — you know it, you feel it. You don’t question it. You don’t sleep at night thinking whether or not it’s true.

I know when someone loves you, they make you a better person. They make your world a happy place, they make you do things you swore you’d never do and they change the way you see the world and sometimes the way you see yourself. I know that love doesn’t leave you bitter, angry or insecure.

I know that when someone loves you, they might hurt you unintentionally, but they’ll always apologize for it. They’ll make up for it and they don’t let the bad times linger, they don’t let it get in the way of your love and your connection. Love uses pain as a tool to bring you closer, a tool that sharpens the bond you have.

I know that when someone loves you, they’ll stay and they’ll make you feel safe. They won’t make you feel lonely or alone with your struggles. They’re present — you never really feel their absence even if they’re miles apart.

Sometimes people point at things that are more important than love but I’ll always point back to my heart because this is what matters. This is what’s important.

Because I’ve always believed in big hearts, I’ve always believed in kindness, in romance, in love, in the things that people don’t really understand but can certainly feel.

And maybe I don’t know exactly what love is, but I know what it feels like and that feeling is heavenly and it exists. It’s not an illusion.  TC mark

Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.

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Rania Naim

Writing. Living. Loving. Dreaming. Healing. Evolving.

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