The Day I Stopped Comparing Everyone To You

@mattwelter
@mattwelter

The day I stopped comparing everyone to you is the day I set myself free. I realized that the world has better things for me, better plans for me and maybe a better person for me. I realized that I was in the dark and I almost forgot that you can always find the light again — once you decide to step out, once you decide to let the sunlight in.

The day I stopped comparing everyone to you is the day I found out that you can’t love people if you’re going to compare them to someone else. You can’t know people if all you’re doing is missing someone else and you can’t give people what they truly deserve when a part of you is still holding on to someone else.

The day I stopped comparing everyone to you is the day I realized that you were never really mine. You weren’t mine to keep and you weren’t mine to lose, you weren’t mine to fight for and you weren’t mine to let go.

I realized I was comparing everyone to someone I never had and someone who didn’t even give me a chance. It’s funny how your mind can trick you into believing that you’re in love with someone because you had a few special memories that made you feel alive, but love is a lot more than that.

The day I stopped comparing everyone to you is the day I realized I never really loved you.

Because I never saw the dark side and stayed, I never loved everything you hated about yourself because I didn’t know what they were, I didn’t really know your flaws or the things that terrify you. I didn’t know who broke your heart and if you’re still in love with them. I didn’t see your scars and figured out a way to heal them.

You can’t love someone if you haven’t seen the dark side, if you haven’t kissed their scars, if you haven’t loved them when they couldn’t love themselves.

And yet I still compared everyone to you because I thought you were real, I thought that what we had was love and I thought that our story will have a happy ending.

But the truth about comparing people to someone like you is that I don’t really know who I’m comparing them to. I’m only comparing them to an idea, a few memories and a feeling that I’ve never felt before. But I don’t think that feeling was love. It could have been bliss, infatuation or lust but it was not love.

Because if I had truly loved you, I would have never stopped.

The day I stopped comparing everyone to you is the day I realized that I shouldn’t be searching for someone like you. I should be searching for someone who’s not like you at all. TC mark

Rania Naim

Writing makes me feel alive. Words heal me.

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