1. Consistency. She wants to know that you’re not just saying things on the spur of the moment. She wants to be able to trust that you’re not going to change the next day or walk away as soon as she catches feelings.
2. Attention. A guarded girl will always try to hide who she really is and how she’s really feeling, but if you pay enough attention to her, she might just find it easier to open up to you because she will feel that you want to peel off her layers and get to the bottom of who she really is.
3. Honesty. She’s guarded because she’s been lied to more times than you can ever imagine, she wants the truth even if it hurts because that’s the only way she will let her guard down, she wants you to be honest with her especially about your feelings.
4. Reassurance. She doesn’t want grand gestures to prove that you care, but she wants reassurance in the little everyday things that you do that makes you stand out. Like the random texts asking about her day or remembering her important meetings at work or even just taking her out when she’s having a bad day. She wants to know that you’re there for her.
5. Security. She wants to know that she’s in safe hands. Don’t talk to her if you’re talking to ten other girls, don’t tell her you like her if you don’t want a relationship and don’t lead her on if you’re not ready. A guarded girl wants to feel safe knowing that she’s the only one and that you’re serious about her.
6. Understanding. She wants you to understand where she’s coming from and why she flips out over the little things. She wants you to know that her fears are coming from her heartbreaks and her defense mechanisms are all an act so she can avoid getting hurt and disappointed again. She wants you to understand her pain — she wants you to understand her heart.
7. Vulnerability. She wants you to be vulnerable and honest about who you are, she wants to know that you can be yourself around her without holding back because then she will be more comfortable in being vulnerable around you and she won’t hide her feelings anymore. She wants you to break down your walls first because that’s how she knows you’re not another man who wants to break her heart.
8. Initiation. She wants you to initiate the calls, the dates, the deep conversations and the important questions. Otherwise she will just listen to you talk about your life. She wants to see if you care to know and if you’re as interested in her as she is interested in you. She wants you to make the first moves because she’s scared of pushing you away if she tries.
9. Actions. At this point, she will always look at what you’re doing rather than what you’re saying. She will look for cues in your behavior not in your texts. She has learned the hard way that words are easy but actions never lie.
10. A good fight. She wants you to fight for her. She wants you to try harder if she doesn’t show everything at once, she wants you to dig deeper is she’s holding back, she wants you to come closer if she tries to push you away and she wants you to stay by her side even if she’s asking you to leave. She wants to know that you want her even if she’s being hard to love because she doesn’t want to waste her love on another person who will not reciprocate it.