I Need Life To Slow Down

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I need life to slow down, to stop rushing me and everything around me. I need time to take it easy on us, to give us some time to think, to comprehend what’s going on. I need time to give us a break.

I need the years to stop flying by. I need some time to figure my life out, to figure my future out, to figure myself out and I need the years to stand still for a while so I can catch up with it.

I don’t want to be forced to grow up, I don’t want to be fifty years older than I am and I need to live each year in peace instead of thinking of the next one or the one before, instead of thinking that the years are passing by and I’m still stuck in the same place.

I need my youth to wait so I can live it. I need my youth to give me permission to be irresponsible again, to forgive me for not getting things right, to allow me to make mistakes and to stop labeling me when I don’t conform.

I need my youth to be young again. I need my youth to be free instead of being confined to duties, rules and bills to pay.

I need my heart to beat wildly again. I need it to stop being so guarded because that’s what everyone is doing, I need it to heal quickly from all the scars, I need it to be happy again and smiling again.

I need a break from heartbreak.

Everything is happening so fast and everything is changing but everything feels wrong.

Time keeps playing tricks on us and people keep betraying us and we’re supposed to believe, we’re supposed to keep going with a smile on our faces because the world doesn’t like broken, the world doesn’t like tears and the world doesn’t like people who feel too much.

Work keeps taking over our lives and we’re supposed to keep getting better at it, we’re supposed to wake up and do the same thing every day even if we can’t do it, even if we don’t want to do it, even if our world is turning upside down, we’re supposed to show up and do a great job.

Are we supposed to be living or are we supposed to be dying?

Is this what life looks like or are we settling?

Do we have any right to complain or are we banned from speaking up?

Does love exist anymore or are we bound to keep stumbling upon people who break our hearts?

How do we keep going when the things that are supposed to keep us going are the things that tear us apart? 

I need life to slow down so I can figure out the answer.

I need life to be patient with me so I can know how to live it.

I need life to stop expecting so much from me in such a short amount of time so I can learn how to love myself.

I need life to stop being so difficult — to stop making it so hard to actually live.