You Were My Happy Home But Now I Need To Move

 averie woodard
averie woodard

You were my comfort zone, the place I’d go to when I wanted to be taken care of, the place I’d run to when I was scared and the place I’d hide in when I only wanted to feel loved and when I didn’t want to face the real world.

You were my shelter from all the ugliness in the world and you were my shield from all the hardships of reality.

But if I truly want to live, I have to go out and face reality. I have to come out of my shell and see what the world has to offer. If I truly want to live, I can’t die here.

I know you want to protect me because you’ve seen enough bad things that makes you worry about what I might have to go through, but sometimes I have to figure out my way without you handing me the map.

Sometimes I just need to get lost without you finding me.

Sometimes I just need to hit rock bottom without you picking me up.

Because nothing in life is guaranteed — not even you and I can’t depend on you to save me every time. I need to learn how to save myself.

I need to be on my own, without you. There must be more to life than this — there must be more to me than this.

It’s easy to think that a certain place is the best when you haven’t seen other places and this is my case with you.

You’re the best home I could ask for but I need to see other homes, I need to live in other neighborhoods, I need to sleep in different beds and I need to drive through unfamiliar roads.

You’ll always be the home that has my heart but it’s my soul that’s on the prowl this time.

But I promise you, you’ll always have a home in me, no matter how far I move. I promise you, I’ll never forget the years you painted a happy home for me, the years you tried to convince me that life is easy and smooth and the years you made me feel beautiful.

Now I need to paint my own version, I need to create my own life, I need to find my own beauty and I need to understand who I really am.

But one thing will never change — you will always be the home I come back to when my life turns upside down.  Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Rania Naim

Writing makes me feel alive. Words heal me.

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