If You’re Ever Wondering Why You Lost Her

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You lost her when you didn’t let her in; when she asked you to trust her, when she wanted to be there for you, when she gave you a shoulder to lean on and you refused to take her offer.

You lost her when she freed her time to talk to you or see you, yet you wouldn’t do the same for her, you were always busy when she really needed you.

You lost her when you started playing games, when she would send something and you would reply the next day, when you would show interest then act uninterested, when you would flirt with her but still talk about your ex.

You lost her because you were still using your dating apps; making her feel that she is not enough for you — making her feel that she has to compete with a hundred different models.

You lost her because you made her want more, then failed to give her more. You lost her because you led her on, then said you wanted to be ‘just friends.’

You lost her because she deserves more than your friendship — she deserves your love, your attention, your affection and your time.

You lost her because you failed to see her worth, you failed to see that she is worth so much more than what you were giving her.

You lost her when you underestimated her intelligence thinking that she won’t be able to read you and you lost her when you confused her kindness for weakness and thought she would never walk away.

You lost her when you said you weren’t ready; when you said that you still have so much to do before you settle down.

You lost her because you didn’t understand her, she never wanted you to ‘settle down,’ she just wanted the reassurance that you weren’t talking to anyone else, that she is special to you.

You lost her when you made her feel like she’s just another pretty face you know.

You lost her when she missed you and you didn’t miss her.

But one day, when you’re done with your options and your plans, you will think of her and how she’s doing, you won’t reach out because you know she might not respond and because your ego won’t let you.

One day, she will be smiling knowing that she tried, knowing that she gave her all and did all she could’ve done to make it work with you, but you will stand there wondering why and how you lost her. TC mark

Rania Naim

Writing makes me feel alive. Words heal me.

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