I’m Done Wasting Time Thinking About You

 Gabi E. Mulder
Gabi E. Mulder

I’m done wondering if you’ll call or not. I no longer wish it was you whenever the phone rings.

I’m done waiting for your text, I’m done waiting for your apology and I’m done waiting for you to show me that you still care.

I’m done waiting for you.

I’m done looking at your pictures and missing you, I no longer feel the urge to be wherever you are and I no longer wait for the moment we run into each other so we can give us another chance.

I’m done asking destiny to bring us back together.

I’m done interfering with the better plans God has for me.

I’m done trying to remember the things you like so I can do them and the things you don’t like so I can avoid them, you no longer hold this space in my head — you no longer hold that space in my heart.

I’m done trying to remember you.

I’m done wasting my thoughts on ‘what ifs’ and ‘maybes.’ I’m done thinking that it’s your work, that it’s your family or bad timing. It’s you.

I’m done wasting time thinking it’s me.

It’s definitely you.

Because you don’t talk to people and make them feel special if you don’t think they are.

You don’t treat someone so kindly only to be cruel to them.

You don’t share personal secrets and stories only to act like a stranger.

You don’t look at someone like you love them when you don’t feel a thing.

You don’t lie to someone who was nothing but honest with you.

I’m done trying to think what went wrong and what could’ve been done to make it right.

I’m done trying to make the pieces fit to paint an empty picture.

The truth is nothing will bring you back if you don’t want to and nothing will make you change your mind unless you change it yourself.

And I’m done thinking I’m the one you’ll always remember.

I’m done thinking I’m not like the rest.

Because people like you don’t see depth, they don’t appreciate beauty and they don’t like vulnerability.

People like you want the chase, the challenge, the games and constant confusion because you want what you can’t have.

But people like me are over it, people like me grew up a long time ago and people like me do not use other people for reassurance.

They’re already self-assured.

I’m done catering to your insecurities. I’m done thinking you’re better than me. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Writing makes me feel alive. Words heal me.

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