I Find Myself In Our Conversations

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I find joy in your outlook on life. I like how you see beauty in the ordinary and see strength in pain. I like how you manage to turn every negative thing I say into a positive one and I like how you don’t pretend to be so wise or use lines straight out of books, you just speak from the heart and it reaches mine softly.

I find loyalty in your friendships. I like how you’ve been friends with the same people ever since you were four, I like how you know them more than they know themselves and I love how you always show up when they need you and you always reassure them that they can count on you. I can hear you talk about their stories forever because they tell me so much more about you.

I find sincerity in your smile. I haven’t seen that smile in a very long time. The pure smile with no ill intentions, the genuine smile that’s not trying to manipulate anyone, the honest smile that’s not trying to deceive anyone and the smile that warms my heart. I forgot that a smile can say so much.

I find kindness in your eyes. When you’re talking about the world, when you’re talking about your family, when you’re talking about your break ups and when you’re talking about yourself.

I find vulnerability in the depth of your eyes, and even though everyone falls for those blue eyes, I’m falling for the ocean behind them.

I find comfort in your presence. The kind of comfort that only comes once you trust someone, not because you’ve known them forever but because you can feel how much they care, you can feel how much they want to make you happy and how they want to protect you. The kind of comfort that only comes when someone actually wants to comfort you instead of giving you a hard time.

Lately, I’ve been feeling more like myself with you. I feel like I can be silly and vulnerable and get away with it. I feel like I don’t have to filter my words anymore – or filter my thoughts. I feel like I don’t have to hide my insecurities or hide my feelings and I feel like I don’t have to worry about you leaving because you always want to stay.

I find myself with you and I don’t know what this means but I know I want to get lost finding myself in you.