A Letter To My Future Old Self

Unsplash Alex Harvey
Unsplash Alex Harvey

I hope you’re happy and healthy and I hope you finally managed to master all these hard yoga poses that you vowed to master one day.

I hope you wake up every morning smiling at the man you love; the one who made you realize that loving you was easy, the one who decided to be your best friend, the one who put an end to any addiction to self-loathe you may have had. I hope you are happily married to him and I hope you still laugh like you used to and still enjoy the simple moments with him. I hope you still look at each other the way you did when you fell in love and I hope you still hold his hand when you are crossing the street. I hope you still whisper sweet things to each other, and I hope his hug still warms your soul. But more importantly, I hope you realized that every time you worried about not finding love was a waste of time.

If you are not married, I hope you are happy by yourself, I hope you found amazing activities and projects to give love to, I hope you had an amazing career that you are proud of, and I hope you are strong and happy. I hope you realized that life is so much more than finding someone to love. I hope you finally fell in love with yourself and realized that this is essentially who you really needed to love.

If you have kids, I hope you raised them to be strong and confident and taught them how to believe in themselves. I hope you raised them to follow their dreams and not settle for a boring life. But I hope you raised to be kind and compassionate, I hope you raised them in a way that they respect people and respect you. I hope you provided them with a home full of love, and gave them a beautiful meaning to the word ‘family.’ I hope that every time they feel broken, your love makes them whole again. I hope you raised them in a way that you are proud of and a way that makes them happy.

If you don’t have kids, I hope you are still in touch with your closest friends, and I hope you still find the same things you used to laugh at just as hilarious. I hope you call them often to check on them or call them just to remember the good old times. I hope you remember the hard times and laugh about how you used to stress over nothing, and I hope you realized that every second you spent investing in good friends was totally worth it. I hope you finally understood why things happened the way they did. I hope you got all the clarity you needed and all the closures you ever asked for. I hope you got your questions answered and I hope you are satisfied with the solutions.

I hope you ran into all those who hurt you once, and I hope you look at them without resentment. I hope you remember how they made you feel and not feel the bitterness that once consumed you. I hope you think of them as teachers who taught you lessons you wouldn’t have learned otherwise. And I hope you understand that it was never about you – it was always them.

I hope you are still fun, I hope you still dance at weddings, sing at Karaoke bars and send silly selfies to your friends. I hope you never run of moments to make you feel alive or make you feel like a child again. I hope you still have a sense of humor about your flaws and I hope you finally learned how to love them. I hope you look in the mirror and finally smile at your reflection, I hope you don’t run away from mirrors anymore.

I hope you still read life-changing books, and I hope you still find new lessons to learn and new things to learn about yourself. I hope you never stopped learning or growing or evolving. I hope you finally wrote that book or that memoir or produced that TV show. I hope you documented your life somehow, I hope you shared your life with strangers, and I hope you still tell them stories about your life and listen to theirs. I hope you never lose your love for deep conversations, and I hope you always find the right words to say.

I hope you finally traveled to all those places you wanted to visit, and I hope you found beauty and wonder in all your travels. I hope you came back a better person, a happier person, and a more grateful person. But I hope you learned that the real journey is the one within, and I hope you reached your final destination and now you travel to travel instead of traveling to run away from something or try to find yourself.

I hope that when you are sitting by the window looking at the amazing view from your balcony, you look back on your life and smile. I hope you look back and realize that you made the best out of what you were given, that you learned the lessons you needed to learn, that you finally let go of what was not meant to be and embraced the uncertainty of life. I hope you look back and remember the days you laughed and the happy memories, I hope you remember the people who loved you and were there for you, and I hope you finally forgave the ones who didn’t and detoxified your heart.

I hope you are not scared of death, I hope you lived in a way that made you unafraid of death, and I hope you have no regrets. I hope you leave something wonderful for the world to remember you by and I hope you leave the world remembering that it was wonderful.  Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Rania Naim

Writing makes me feel alive. Words heal me.

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