I always thought infatuation was part of love. I thought they complemented each other—until I experienced both and discovered that they can’t coexist. There are too many people who are convinced that they’re in love with someone just because they’re amazing and they can’t stop thinking about them, but the truth is most of the time the intensity that comes with really liking someone is not love—it’s infatuation. Here are some ways to tell the difference.

In short, love vs. infatuation

1. Infatuation happens instantly. Love is a slow process.

2. Infatuation craves physical affection. Love craves a deeper connection.

3. Infatuation makes you act irrationally or ‘crazy.’ Love calms you down.

4. Infatuation is intense but short-lived. Love is comfortable but lasts longer.

5. Infatuation is reckless with our emotions. Love is more considerate.

6. Infatuation has ulterior motives. Love has genuine intentions.

7. Infatuation brings out obsession and jealousy. Love brings out understanding and trust.

8. Infatuation is shallow. Love is deep.

9. Infatuation is selfish and draining. Love is kind and energizing.

10. Infatuation makes a big deal out of small things. Love lets them go.

11. Infatuation is being in love with the idea of someone. Love is being in love with who the person really is.

12. Infatuation is possessive. Love is generous.

13. Infatuation holds grudges. Love forgives.

14. Infatuation keeps you guessing. Love answers your questions.

15. Infatuation thrives on playing games. Love thrives on meaningful connections.

16. Infatuation is rocky. Love is solid.

17. Infatuation is delusional. Love is real.

18. Infatuation follows a timeline. Love is timeless.

19. Infatuation has unrealistic expectations. Love has realistic standards.

20. Infatuation is childish. Love is mature.

21. Infatuation grows with desire. Love grows with friendship.

22. Infatuation stems from insecurity. Love stems from self-assurance.

23. Infatuation makes you vengeful. Love makes you a better person.

24. Infatuation makes you forget you have a life. Love is integrated with yours.

25. Infatuation can leave unannounced. Love provides explanations.

26. Infatuation is never content with one person. Love is monogamous.

27. Infatuation is undefined. Love is exclusive.

28. Infatuation is loud. Love is quiet.

29. Infatuation can be self-destructive. Love can heal you.

30. Infatuation thinks love should be perfect. Love knows it’s not but it doesn’t matter.