Ramona Helin

Articles by
Ramona Helin

The Hamptons

The Hamptons might be the most lovely place to feel dissociated. Upon my initial arrival, I had underestimated its natural beauty. The epic gardens and sunsets are something worth getting away for. But I don’t feel like I’m actually having conversations with people when I’m there…

Got Felt Up At A Sofia Coppola Movie

I was annoyed that, no matter how close I positioned myself to the wall, he took up so much space his legs and arms still touched mine. But after seeing his face exude an ‘I hate myself’ expression, I considered how awful it must feel to be so large, invading people’s personal spaces all the time…

A Tale of Two Proms

Next year at prom, we rolled up in James’ mom’s minivan and I avoided the bong being passed around in the backseat. This year it was at an auditorium by a lake, where they used to hold our dances in junior high. There was a smoke machine. We danced this year. Frank would do this thing where he’d pick me up and spin me around and throw me across the room.

Tanorexia: My Brush With the American Affliction

We decided in that moment to have a tan-off: against each other, against the sorority girls, against the world at large. Like the Peaches song, we would tan the pain away. We just needed to figure out how to translate “tanning salon.”

Every Intimate Experience With a ‘90s Musician I’ve Ever Had

My ideal male was small town and scratched off the letters on the back on his Toyota pickup truck so it just said “YO.” But those guys didn’t like me — and this one did. Quick to catch-on to JAP boy talk, I name-dropped the only thing I had (“Rad, I know the Cherry Poppin’ Daddies”) despite feeling embarrassed.

Love Lessons Learned From Early ’00s Hip Hop Videos

Most of the videos are really bad — the costumes and acting might be the worst of all time. But they have playful men and women clarifying their feelings and boundaries, all while maintaining self-confidence and not taking themselves too seriously. They seem really jokey and really healthy at the same time.