Tinder And Beyond: How To Find Love In The World Of Swiping

Flickr / r. nial bradshaw
Flickr / r. nial bradshaw

Tinder is similar to any other form of dating.

Dating, originating from any format, is a mixed bag of results. And not every (actually few) relationship stories have a fairy tale beginning. Sometimes you meet or connect with people in the strangest of places.

I’ve met people on Tinder, on online dating sites and in “real life.” I’ve met viable options on dating sites. I’ve dated people for lengths of time from all places. I’ve found mixed results in all formats – people wanting to hookup, people wanting relationships, people wanting to date casually, people wanting a FWB, or whatever else people want.

While Tinder has the reputation as a hook-up application, people seeking only hook-ups are found everywhere. People seeking relationships are also found everywhere. And even more so people who don’t know what they want until they find it seem to be even more commonly found in the dating world.

In another article I wrote for Thought Catalog titled When It Is and Is Not Okay to Sleep With a Guy on the First Date I mention an article from Medical Daily in which Dr. Fran Walfish, a psychotherapist, says “strong healthy long-lasting relationships are built on good communication, ethics, mutual value system, character, and shared interests.”

If you find a person you are compatible with on Tinder, who’s to say it can’t result in a long lasting relationship? The same Medical Daily article points to a study which seems to conclude you build such long lasting relationships by focusing first on getting to know each other, and postponing sex for a period of time.

I’d concur the best way to find someone to date is to meet someone in real life doing the things you enjoy. Your common interests and values will be more likely to be closely aligned. However, it would seem you could meet a viable partner anywhere if you set your expectations.

When it comes to dating explore all of your options. Don’t be close-minded to any option. But most importantly know what you want and don’t be afraid to ask for it. Don’t lower your standards in the search for love. Remember you set the expectations. Know what you want and don’t be afraid to go after it.

Dating is about exposing yourself to the greatest number of people with the most similarities. Yes in person interactions at common places offer the greatest possibilities. I agree the vast majority of people I meet on dating sites have nothing in common with me, but there are a few gems to be found.

Maybe you’ll find love in the grocery store produce section when you bond over your kale selection, or maybe you’ll connect with the opposing team’s star player on your bowling league, or maybe just maybe you’ll meet some awesome person on Tinder. TC mark





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