I should have known better than to give my heart to you. Your heart still had cracks from your last relationship that hadn’t been given enough time to heal. Any love I put into your heart just kept leaking right back out, never allowing the cracks to seal and continuing to weaken its strength as a vessel overall. You felt rushed, you felt pressured. You tried to work harder to hold that love and take care of it. Futile. Those attempts were futile. As my love for you grew the imperfections in you grew until all at once it was entirely too much.
My love was gushing to the ground, without warning. Like water from a dam that suddenly gave away. Some of the love was stretching away from you, thinning as each moment passed. Some remained clinging to the shattered pieces of you strewn across the floor. The strongest connections of me still holding tight to the you that existed together with me.
Those fragments were a glaring reminder that I was only allowed pieces and never the whole. A reminder that the more love I gave to you, the greater the pressure was that you put on yourself to try to keep it safe. It’s easy to think that in the end it couldn’t withstand the gradual additions because I gave too much to you and that it was my own doing that broke your vessel.
The truth is you never took the time to examine your heart before offering it to me. The cracks in it were not immediately obvious to you and you were unable to examine it closely, carefully, and fully prior to finding someone who’s love you wanted to fill it with. Your vessel was already damaged, no matter how fast or how slow I attempted to fill it, the end result would remain the same. I never stood a chance with you. I was offered damaged goods from the start, a course to failure was the only path that was ahead of me. Destined to be exactly where we are now.
You are trying to remember who you are and how your pieces fit together. You are working to figure out how to build a good strong vessel this time. And me? My love is still desperately clinging to the small number of pieces of yourself that you shared with me, while the rest of my love is slowly drifting away, and with it the hope that you will be able to repair your vessel before my love recedes to far from your reach.