The worst they can say is no.
If you’ve put in effort and hard work consistently over time, and you know you have earned a salary bump, ask for it. When you know you’ve earned it, chances are you’ll get it. If you need to put in more time and effort, do it. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.
When you’ve had an epiphany about what you want from someone you are involved with whether it be something that bothers you about their behavior or things they do that negatively affect your feelings, be specific and ask for what you want. The worse that could happen is you don’t get it. Hopefully you’ll be heard the first time. If not, try one more time. If you still don’t get it, you know what to do.
You’re tired of frequenting the same bar or a friend isn’t reaching out to you as much as you’d like. Something your friend said rubbed you the wrong way. If you don’t confront the issue nothing will change. Appreciate your friendships enough to keep them healthy by asking for what you want.
Boundaries with family
If your family members aren’t setting the boundaries you need, think about what you want, find strength in your convictions and ask. They may or may not respond, and if their behavior doesn’t chance, stand strong and ask again.
You’re tired of getting in your own way. You want to get your shit together. You want to be your best self. This is a little hard so hold yourself accountable. Wake up every morning and ask yourself to be productive or more forgiving of past indiscretions. This will help you reset each day.
Being in a toxic living situation affects your life more than you may think. If you want your roommate to stop pressing snooze a million times, or you want them to do their own dishes or to clean or to stop leaving their hair all over the bathroom, ask for it. People are not mind readers and are often oblivious to their own behavior until it is brought to their attention.
How to ask
Make sure you ask for what you want in an assertive yet diplomatic way. No one responds to demands and no one responds to someone who is too passive. Try this:
I’m happy with x which has led to y. I’d like x because y. I’d appreciate it if you could make that happen. You may be surprised at how receptive people can be, but if you don’t ask, you’ll never know. Ever. So ask.