To The Men And Women Who Think ‘They’re All The Same’

Azrul Aziz
Azrul Aziz

I know you’ve been through the brink of hell quite a few times. You’ve been mistreated and misunderstood. I understand you felt unloved and unwanted, but I still ask you to please stay optimistic.

We encounter people in life for some very neat reasons. These people, they just don’t come and go. They may have left so suddenly and unexpectedly, but there goes their little footprint in our lives that somehow make us understand that really, life is an extensive school of many rooms, with various curriculum – and we are its scholars.

You may be thinking right now – “What went wrong?”, or maybe “What is wrong with me?”. Ease your mind, the world is full of mystery we should all be curious about, and asking ourselves “what is WRONG?” should not be part of the long list. I’m not saying you should not wonder about the cause of the casualty; all I’m saying is that – we should focus more on the “What can I do to make things right?” part, rather than continuously evaluating ourselves with the same demand.

Life in general contains many subjects that touch on pains and bitterness. Relationships – and I mean FAILED relationships are vulnerable to these accounts too.

This is for the woman who thinks “They are all the same”

You’re probably wondering “why it failed”, right? And you still question “why wasn’t he contented with you?” . . . clear your thoughts dear woman. These feelings of negativity can ruin your insight of what is yet to come. Remember that “HE” is just one of the billionth cells living in the wild. Don’t let that wrong specie degrade your hopes and standards. They may all be just “guys” to begin with, but I tell you – THEY ARE NOT ALL THE SAME.

You probably just happen to notice one that is not your match. Keep in mind, there is ONE that is made perfectly for you. The reason you had to go through all the risks and trials is for you to be tested – For you to be able to identify the difference between wants and needs, for you to understand how it’s like to hurt and heal, and to be able to live a life equipped with knowledge, skills and valuable experiences.

At some point, you had to feel the need to categorize everyone to be “all the same” – because you had to set a useful standard for your own. You had to realize that really, there is only one made perfectly to match your expectations.

Every “wrong” person you encounter will be a key character to lead you to the right one. They will somehow become the passage that will lead you to see the right chap, created for you since day one. Not that the relationship had to fall apart, it’s just that you had to fall awake into reality.

You had to fall out of the idea and focus on what is certain. You had to fall apart from the notion that he makes you complete, because truth is – you are complete by yourself.

Not that he wasn’t contented with you – fact is, you were too much for him to handle. You were too perfect and you didn’t quite match the edges.

Dear woman, live your life with optimism now and stop focusing on the wrong sides of things. Learn to look for the right reasons, rather than the disappointing outlooks. Learn to be positive, and teach your mind to attract only beautiful thoughts.

This is for the man who thinks “They are all the same”

They say that being left behind is painful. Truth is, leaving someone and being left behind are equally unbearable. If you think all other girls out there are the same, please think again. Evaluate and scrutinize… Honey, they are not ALL THE SAME!

Physically speaking, they’re not. If you dig deeper – emotionally, mentally, spiritually and intellectually … clearly they are not all the same. Each person is made unique and perfect depending on their capabilities and purposes. It just so happened that you encounter the wrong individual.

In reality, you probably experience being left behind for another person, or you left a person behind for whatever reason, or maybe it was a matter of choosing over other priorities. I tell you this – things happen for a reason, learn to influence your heart through a wiser mind. It was not your fault you did not meet her expectations. You just happened to have a different view of things.

Maybe she had to leave you because you are bound to meet someone exceedingly better, or maybe she was just not the one who can make you a better one.

You left her, maybe because you had to look for yourself, or maybe you just felt like something is not matching the pieces of the puzzle. Don’t try to justify your wrong doings though, and don’t try to claim a moment of self-pity just to prove your intentions. Somehow, things just need to end.

They say, every great man has a great woman behind them – maybe, she wasn’t that. Maybe someone else is bound to bring out the greatness in you, and she hasn’t made it to you just yet. I hope you be more persistent and kind. Be gentle and persevere as you wait. Keep looking for her with the purest intention of giving her the right kind of affection she deserves, and hopefully one day you will arrive there, where she waits for your oh-so-patiently. Stop wasting your time playing with other girls. Use this time to improve your flaws. Know that nobody is perfect – but you can always try to be close to perfect.

I hope you both understand now, man and woman alike – we go through a roller coaster ride in this life. We rise and fall but we still manage to go on. We are not “ALL THE SAME”, I promise! We are equally unique in various ways, and there is ONLY ONE made especially to fill every empty space in our lives.

Some call them soulmates, while others call them destiny. I call them our “destinations”. We are all travelers, and one way or another are on our way home. Our destinations are those we are bound to reach no matter what, over the horizon or under the depths of the oceans.

A place, or a person we can call home, someone who can make us feel assured that we’re finally home. Although we may not all be the same, let us all learn treat everyone fairly and benevolently. Know that everyone we meet are encountering a battle that we are not aware of, so stop judging and start caring more.  Always chose to love harder when it’s too hard to love. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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