When asked – “Why aren’t you dating anyone?” , I am the type who’d answer… “I do not want to date JUST ANYONE”
I’ve always been in that awkward position of sitting across lovers, and be their audience as they show off their affection in public. I have friends who are younger than me, and are happily taking their journey to “forever,” happily tangled with partners they assume to be their lifetime companions.
I am also asked very often, “WHY, AM I STILL SINGLE?” mind you… I also asked this to myself.
Not that I’m not interested, or scared, afraid or whatever other reason many might conclude; but let me answer that question, just so you know and just so I can emphasize my 10 reasons, as to why I choose to maintain my status, as it is. For now, at least:
1. I am indulged with the idea of just Me, Myself and I.
I am important, I matter the most, I deserve to be happy, I deserve to be respected, I deserve to love and be loved, I deserve to achieve everything I want, I deserve to have all I wish for…just for me, myself and I.
I also deserve to share ME to people who love me unconditionally, but I got so fed up with people who take advantage of my kindness and fragility. Although I am not complaining, I guess I am in a state where I am still regaining the trust I once lost from loving the wrong people.
2. I want to let time take its time.
I know that there is a “proper time” for everything, and mine hasn’t yet come. Have you ever wondered why the seasons go in appropriate and yet particular cycle? Have you ever asked why our time is set in seconds first, then minutes, then hours? Let me tell you my perceptions to these things.Well, there is a natural law that mandates what comes when, and how, and where and to whom… It can’t be winter first and then autumn… it just can’t. It’s just inappropriate. If there was ever, at some point a mishap in the order of things, we get troubled, we feel bothered. It is because we know that really, time is all – and appropriate time, that is! I once took my time, because I thought It was time for me to take control… I then realized after, that time… also has to take its time, I then decided to cooperate with time, for me to heal, to grow, to smile and to live again. They say time is all we have, and that is somewhat true – I am giving “Time” the power to restore my once shattered hope.
3. If I just stay where I am right now, the right one will find me.
I am rather faithful than hopeful because, I am certain that someone out there is also very eager to find me. He too, has been looking for a while now. I know fate will make its way anytime soon, and if I leave my post now I might miss him when he actually arrives.
4. I’m tired of playing the game of the wrong man.
I am prone to overlooking the “signs”, and I once made the mistake of recognizing a “lesson” for a “soulmate”. I want to be involved with someone with meaningful intentions. If I rush, I might end up meeting an unworthy one, I might end up playing a game, I might end up discouraged and broken again. I learned that finding a partner is not a priority, and that we should never rely our happiness from other people. We need not to find anyone to complete us, because we are already perfect and capable.
5. I choose to be strong enough to not need a “Man.”
I learned that being strong and staying strong is necessary. I came to a point where choosing to be strong is the only choice I have left. My misery in the past has led me to this peak where I could never be anything else but strong; Strong enough to build walls around myself to protect my heart, and to defeat my own nemeses. Strength matters, and strength is necessary to gain your confidence. Just think about it, you will be blatantly ignored and mistreated if you can’t even protect yourself. Be strong enough to handle your own battle.
6. I am loved – I don’t need to seek for any “better-love.”
I’ve conjured my own idea of perfect. I’ve set my standards of loving and being loved. I did that because only I, can decide on what I want emotionally, physically and mentally. I want my “happy self” exclusively for me, for now. I assigned myself to be my partner in crime, my other half,my reason to be loved, and my reason to love.This may sounds really selfish – and that’s totally okay! Being selfish is better than selfless, because I believe that you can never offer yourself to anyone if you do not value your own precious “self”.
7. I like the idea of being free.
I will never be as free as I am now. I want to be very meticulous with my freedom, and I am only willing to give it up to someone who can respect my perspectives in life. I want my experience with my freedom to be something I can set as an example to people who need inspiration. I want to make this time an advantageous one, in a way that I can learn, explore,live, laugh and maybe…love.
8. Less drama.
Life is too short to be tangled with drama. I already have my own shares of scene in this movie called “life”…accepting more dramatic roles is just too much right now. I have made the decision to stay within the parameters of my own spot light.
9. I’m preparing myself to be the kind of person I am aspiring for.
One can not offer a love much greater than the one he/she can conceive for herself. My question would be, how are you able to love and inspire others when you don’t have enough love and inspiration for yourself? Become a source of such affection first before you ask others to offer you the same. Remember, you are bound only to receive as much as you can afford to offer. I am taking this time to patiently evaluate myself.
10. I will wait for the “right kind of love” to find me.
I cannot emphasize this enough, but the moment we stop trying, we’d notice that things will eventually fall naturally to their proper places. I now understand that seeking for love won’t do me any good, seeking and discovering my SELF WORTH; on the other hand, is more fulfilling.
Finally discovering our worth is what I think the right kind of love, the type of love that we won’t be able to find by thriving to seek for it from someone else…and that’s because we already have it.
The only entity we have when we were born was ourselves, and we tend to lose it in the process of seeking love, and chasing our dreams.
I do not know your own definition of love, but to me – Love is felt only when you truly realize your worth as a unique human being. Unique in a way that you don’t dare to compare yourself from others, rather – you become one who inspires, shines with light and overflows with hope.
Keep in mind that the right one will recognize themselves in you, they will find you simply because you have stayed still and awaited with so much good intentions. I believe that before you seek for love in the presence of “others,” you should possess such qualities first. I also acknowledge that in order to be able to offer LOVE – you must first genuinely love yourself.
When the fire is gone and the smoke is blown by the wind, love will be able to see you through. We do not know what awaits us on the other side of the tunnel but for sure, a ray of hope is there – somewhere, somehow.
Love will notice your existence, and you will be very compassionate to acknowledge it when the time is right. For now, please stay still,do not seek any further, and patiently wait with a happy heart. Remember and instill this stern into the depths of your soul – great things come to those who wait.