Hours, days, weeks, months…of being sulky has used up my energy. It has made me so resentful that I can no longer look at the good things about everything. My mood swings became so frequent that the people around me became at risk of creating good memories with me. All that made up my personality was pain, anger and disgust. Pain of being left alone, anger for being deceived, and disgust of being broken. I was generally a plaintiff, miserable being who blamed the circumstances… angry of the world, when in reality, there was only that one person to be blamed.
It took a while for me to get back on my feet. To regain the drained strength that kept me going all this time. It took forever for me to realize that somehow – what we lose is not always our loss. More often than not, we do not recognize the things that stay, for we often focus on what’s already gone. It is too hard to go on without the specific entities that once made our every day, our “everyday”.
It’s never easy, simply because we are emotionally invested in these things. We somehow allocate so much of our human efforts to things we want to last long…but then, destiny sometimes won’t let us hold on to things we want so badly.
Relationships are no exception. We may have, we will and we might lose someone we love so deeply. That is something one cannot avoid. No matter how hard we try, or how much we resist. Losing someone eventually comes to life, one way or the other. It is not a matter of how bad or good we handled a relationship, most cases – things just go beyond our control.
The only thing we can do as human beings is to move on… get over it and let things be.
Moving on is not simple. Just how loving and investing time takes energy, moving on requires more. It won’t be easy at first, you will always be tempted to look back and reminisce. No matter how hard it gets though, make sure to remember why you walked out in the first place. Keep within your heart the good things, for you will use these eventually to stay inspired.
For you to remember, it wasn’t your fault it failed. Remember also the bad things, for you will learn from these. You will eventually be armoured with the experiences from the past. As you pass each day, thinking you should stop going forward – lift your heart, breath and whisper “I deserve more…something better…something more fulfilling”. Just know that if it was meant to be in the very beginning, it wouldn’t have slipped away. Let it go, like the river…let the natural law take control.
If you might ask why I moved on, let me tell you…I moved on because I needed to, I moved on because I had to…there really is no point staying still, when there is no reason to hold on. There is so much good in the world to stay stagnant, useless and unhappy.
Changing your view to the direction of the sun will keep your light glowing. Staying positive can lift up one’s spirit, and moving on allows oneself to be rediscovered and unveiled. Going through and enduring pain is like going through a tunnel…it takes time, it requires sorrow to take part, and it takes a lot of courage to endure.
There is no other way out but through the direction of the light…keep going! Even when you fall, get back up… help yourself… be strong! At the end of it, you will see the light. There is something brighter, more beautiful than what used to be, something worth looking forward to. Another obstacle is passed and is now part of what you left behind, you become stronger and fiercer, you gain more experience… you become more HUMAN.
I have gained and lost. Loved and was left behind. I trusted and was deceived. I got hurt – of course. But I’m still alive. I came out a lot stronger, wiser and more courageous. Will I love again? Will I trust again? Will I risk happiness to regain it back again? My answer is clear, no second thoughts – I will…no matter how bruised I get, I will never get tired of trying.
The answer is resounding: I moved on because the person in me wanted to be happy, to be rediscovered, to be truly renewed. I moved on to see the good in the bad…to see gain in what I once lost.
I wanted to be a better version of me…leaving the past behind, learning to forgive, not holding back and looking forward to a much better beginning. I moved on simply because I wanted to.