You were dating/seeing/hanging out with someone who excited you. Who didn’t really challenge you but brought fun every time you were together. Who made you laugh, annoyed you only a touch, and made you feel just a little bit special. But there was something missing, and you knew it wasn’t right. You knew they weren’t the one, or simply were not right for the long term. You knew this.
But they got to end it first.
They hurt you, they really did. Either through the way they ended it, by what they said, or because you hadn’t been expecting it. Just because you knew it wasn’t right, doesn’t mean it feels good to say goodbye.
You shed a few tears the first week, maybe two weeks, it’s over; until you are ready to move on. Whether it be to be single for a little while longer, or whether it be to find the right one. Perhaps just to have a little more fun (but this time with the upper hand, for sure).
But, then, you find yourself a little more hurt than you should be. You over analyze the situation even though you know that it is for the best that it’s over. You’re crying in a random parking lot because you’re never good enough.
Your head is saying it’s okay, we didn’t want them either, but your heart is saying I’m hurt, I’m hurt. Why am I never good enough?
This is your ego talking. It senses vulnerability and it jumps right in, ready to shine. Ready to tell you that it’s been bruised and you are going to pay for this. Your ego is a funny, fickle thing. It demands to be thought of as perfect. It hates to be hurt. It aches to be loved. It’s the part of us that seeks approval.
But you must remember that your ego is a separate part of you.
Everything you are afraid of in life circles back to a little part of you. Stops you from running free, from ending it with that toxic person, from starting your business or writing your thoughts or moving away from home; from doing what the very heart of you wants to do. Your ego. Your ego will try to knock you out of place. It doesn’t want to be caught out. It doesn’t want you to realize that your fears are your own manifestation. But they are.
The beast will only roar if you awaken it; if you nurture it, if you let it become all that is you. You are much more than your ego and even more than that; you are enough.
Allow yourself to feel sad, and move on. Do not get lost in what if’s – accept what is. Be grateful for meeting someone who woke something in you, who made you feel something. And know that you will meet someone who nurtures the love in you, the want and the need and your ego will continue to sleep in the corner, where it deserves to be.
Stop letting your ego take over. You will lose yourself.
You are enough, do not let it tell you otherwise.