Just when I think I know myself really well, I mess up, and begin to question who I am as an individual. I tend to talk down to myself, a form a self-abuse. I beat myself up for making a mistake, for saying something wrong, or for not doing the right thing. This isn’t effective at all.
As I sit in Starbucks, I can feel my heart beating too quickly and my stomach churning with uneasiness. I slipped up and made a mistake. Immediately, I turn inwards and yell at myself for hours. I convince myself that everyone is mad at me and that I am not deserving of good friendships.
This is completely false and deep down I know this.
What I should be doing is nurturing myself. I need to become friends with myself again. I need to talk to myself as if I were talking to one of my best friends. Too often enough, I talk to myself as if I am the enemy.
All we can do is remind ourselves that we are human. We make mistakes, we mess up, we hurt other people without realizing it. It’s time to move forward and make things right.
We can’t become friends with ourselves or grow as individuals if we continue to berate ourselves for past mistakes. We can’t help ourselves if we continue to tell ourselves that everyone is mad at us for making a small mistake. This only feeds into the negative cycle.
Make peace with it and move forward. Promise yourself that you will be kinder. Promise yourself that you will do the right thing next time around.
I am working on being mindful. I want to be mindful of what I say to others, as well as myself. I am working on being kinder and more positive as we enter the season of spring.
Forgive yourself for the mistake, for the wrong thing and move forward. We are only human and you will come back from this.