You are the strongest person I know.
I can see right through your façade, I know you too well. I can see your tired eyes and your restless mind. I can feel a shift.
You are hurting right now. You’re allowed to hurt, there is no timeline. Please do not bottle it all up. There is nothing to hide from me. I am here for you.
I wish I could hold you close and make it all go away. I wish I could do something to change the circumstances. I know you wish you could too. Your voice becomes quiet when we talk about it; it’s so fragile and we don’t want to break it.
As I stood in your hallway, I could see your mom’s face was in pain. Hushed tones floated in the air, your body blocking her from my view. You are her protector, she needs you more than ever. I can hear her trying to pull herself together for you.
Her hands begin to shake as she puts the cookie in a plastic bag. Her hug is light, but is so comforting. She smiles and the world feels at peace.
“Thank you.” You whisper.
“Of course,” I nodded and patted your knee.
Pain is hard to look directly in the eye.
Cancer is not an easy word to swallow. It is even harder when it hits close to home. I cannot imagine what your family is going through. But I want to try. I want to empathize with you, I want to comfort you. I understand why you put up that wall.
I want to reach for your hand, I want to find the right words to say. I’m at a loss.
Your father said that when you come home, even when you lay on the couch, your mother is happy. She is comforted by your presence.
So, I will sit by you to comfort. And I will pray.
I pray for your family each day. I pray for your strength and your happiness. I pray for your parents; the most wonderful people I have ever met. A family full of love, life, and adventure. I pray for your mother. She is so beautiful and is filled with grace. When she speaks, the world turns quiet to listen to every word she says. She is warm and inviting, like a sunny day. I think of her daily.
This is battle worth fighting for. There is an army standing behind you, ready to fight alongside you. We are prepared to lift you up at any moment. You are not alone.
And you are loved. I hope you know how loved you are by so many.
You are loved.
You fall asleep on the couch within minutes. I pray silently for 10 minutes and then I get up to leave. I speak with your parents and offer them freshly baked cookies. You hear my voice floating from the kitchen, you look for me, and then fall back asleep.
I will continue to love you through it all. I will be here for support. I will not leave or give up. I am here for you.
You are stronger than you think.