Why Personalities Are Too Wide To Fit Into The Small Boxes Called ‘Gender’

Flickr / Trevor King
Flickr / Trevor King

“High heels are awesome, but the feeling when I take them off at a party is even better. I sometimes charmingly giggle when I am surrounded by cute guys, yet with other male company I proudly share my burping talent. I feel gorgeous wearing a cute dress, until I forget that I’m wearing one when I sit down with my legs wide open, oops…”

A friend of mine is transgender and currently at a far stadium of her hormone treatment. She still has a penis, but she is a true girl. From the outside, the changes become more visible every day, but way before her transition, she was already a real lady. By the way she walks, talks, and dresses, she sets a living example of the definition feminine, up to a level which most of my other girlfriends including myself will never reach. When she asked me one day if certain behavior was allowed as a girl, I as the biggest know-it-all, for once didn’t have an answer. To me, it raises the question about what being feminine actually means and how important it still is for women to fit the girly label in the 21st century, but also what it means for transgender women. Her question made me conscious about the slowly disappearing, but for-now still existing format of the “female role”. Pointing out the fact the word role is frequently used to put a lady back into the kitchen, means being female clearly is the performance we play.

Most of my girlfriends are like me, rather tough and straight forward. We look girly and feminine on the outside, but once we open our mouths, filthy swears and tasteless detailed sex experiences are flying out to the point of no return. Not only during “girls nights” we don’t fit into the lady-box — without the slightest sense of embarrassment — our behavior remains completely regardless of our audience. We openly discuss with male-friends the size of our current prey’s dick and we don’t desperately wait for a one-night stand to call back, because often we sneaked out already before sunrise. Young women these days are independent and do no longer feel the need to prove being feminine to be counted for as a woman. We don’t follow the specific guidelines who were invented light-years before our births in order to please our surroundings and more importantly, to please the opposite sex. We quit the theatre in where we performed the female role, although we still can make huge dramas.

Transgender women of our generation are now the ones who have to fight the battle of being acknowledged as full citizens which feminist already fought before us and I think everybody with an open-mind and a vision should join them. We have to create a society where at the majority will treat and more importantly, respect transgender women as equals. We only stand at the beginning of a long bumpy road ahead. Full acceptance goes way beyond being able to physically transform into a woman and getting the F-box checked at a passport. It means the need of compensating for the fact of being simply born into a different physique than as it appears now, by extra feminine behavior, is no longer a requirement to gratify the public opinion about your true self.
Being a bit of a tomboy is alright with the public if the girl was born with her vagina. But tell me why wouldn’t there be transgender women, who perfectly fit the stereotype of a tomboy, regardless of their choice to reshape the original male body, into the one that suits the (tomboy) woman at heart?

Humans were not born to be labeled by gender characteristics, we are all way too complex to contain at a little box for a lifetime. We have now arrived at a decade where we should celebrate our uniqueness again, but shouldn’t deny we have a lot of similarities such as the fear for rejection we all share. As just as any man or woman’s personality is split in-between gender assigned features, for transgendered it isn’t any different. I plead for a society where everybody is free to show their full personality without taking the risk of being judged or left out. Transgender woman should be able to be just as proud at their cool laidback dude ways of doing as if they are “allowed to be” about their French manicure. I can act in a way of drinking beer from the bottle with my leg wide open and drooping shoulders while I am still marked as a 100% female human being, then so why shouldn’t any transgender.

Gender rules may have some of their heritage by genetics, mainly they were invented by the human urge to control the shit out of an unpredictable and very uncertain world. I am a girl who can be just as breakable as I can be a tough motherfucker.

Almost no one is born with a complete feminine or masculine personality and it is culture locking us up in boxes of gender, by the still ruling small-minded perspectives.

My shout-out is to stop putting labels on the boxes where we push people into. Not only because when we would all follow the same set of guidelines, this entire world would get as boring as the country of Germany already is. However more importantly, since everybody is born with the right never to be rejected for their awesome personality. So don’t let others fear yours away and allow them as well to stay true to who they are. A real person is way more than its sex and can only be spotted way beyond gender! Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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