Never Be Someone’s Second Choice

You should never be the second choice. You’re worth so much more than that, but I don’t think anyone has told you that before.

You may have become used to being someone’s second choice, especially when you were younger. You may have had friends, parents, family, or shitty past lovers that made you get used to this feeling. I’m writing to you because I need you to realize what they did was wrong. They belittled a beautiful person. They made you shrink yourself down into a version of yourself that was more palatable.

Have you become more forgiving when someone pushes you aside? Have you been making up excuses for that person? Have you had to justify their actions to someone else? Have you been battling with your emotions at the end of the night, trying to push down the feeling that this isn’t right?

The person that should be in your life would never treat you like that. Every person you encounter is human and will eventually make mistakes, but the right person won’t repeatedly make choices that upset you. Especially if they want you in their life. If this person isn’t putting time and energy towards you, they are not worth it. You may not understand this because you’ve been justifying this behavior for so long, but I’m telling you the truth. The person that truly wants you in their life will make an effort to not be in a position to lose you.

You should know your worth. Well, I believe you should learn it. You have so much love to give in this world, but some people just don’t deserve it. When the time comes, as it does for everyone, you will be the person’s top priority. I know it’s a strange concept. I know you don’t believe it. You shouldn’t be settling for someone that you give all your precious love to, just to settle for maybe a quarter of receiving what you’re giving.

I want you to take some time to be alone. Alone for a while. Sit back, and please look at who isn’t putting you at the top of their list. Everyone is so wrapped up in themselves in this age that sometimes genuine people make mistakes. It’s okay to have a difficult conversation with someone you care about asking them for more of their time, or whatever need you have that you feel isn’t being met. Worst case scenario? You miss out on someone that doesn’t value you. Best case scenario? Things change for the better.

When it comes to love, please stop settling for the spare time the person has. You are worth so much more than that. Don’t let yourself be in a situation where you’re an afterthought to someone. You’ll end up draining yourself, and your energy, in ways you can’t replenish easily. Inside of you, you know this is wrong, now you just need to start acting on it. I promise you, the people you lose compare nothing to the people who will change their actions for you. You’ll be happier if you forget that being a second choice is even an option.

Being someone’s second choice may be something you’ve gotten used to, but please forget this feeling, and move towards what you deserve.

About the author
I am studying history in college. Dead people are easier sometimes. Follow Rachel on Instagram or read more articles from Rachel on Thought Catalog.

Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about page.

Related