1. Your dog will never judge you for your drunken bar hookup last night
2. Your dog will come right away whenever you call, even if in the middle of an extensive battle with his squeaky toy. Can you really say that human friends are at your every beck and call?
3. He’s an excuse for everything – “sorry, can’t go out to eat $4 tacos with you, gotta walk my dog” (this happened)
4. What a convenient alarm clock! Oh, it’s the crack of dawn? My dog is barking at the newspaper deliveryman? Must be time to wake up and seize the day! Seriously, you’ll never be late for work again.
5. He never gets tired of snuggling (surrogate boyfriend!)
6. Your dog thinks you look good in everything – my dog wants to kiss me whether I’m all dressed up or whether I’m in sweatpants, hair tied, chillin’ with no makeup on
7. Your dog will always have your back – mine barks to scare away the creepy UPS man, but turns up the cuteness when walking down the street past the hot neighbor two streets over. Such a quality wingman.
8. Best exercise buddy ever – my dog will go for a run with me wherever, whenever, but never laughs at me for getting a cramp after running for only 6 minutes, and never thinks my excessive sweating is gross. Gives me kisses anyway, enthusiastic always.
9. Your dog will never judge you for eating pizza in your bed. In fact, when you’re done, he’ll lick your fingers until they’re free of any cheese and grease, essentially washing away your guilt. A true saint.
10. “A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.”