27 Things I Know At Age 27

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  1. A stellar personality will always get you so much further than any set of skills in the work place.
  2. Dry shampoo will be the most important beauty innovation to happen to blondes in our lifetime.
  3. No one gives Vampire shows enough of a chance.
  4. Cool people don’t care what brand your handbag or watch is. They care that you’re nice to them and remember who they think the protagonist on Nashville is.
  5. It’s important to be honest about your musical taste. There are other people out there who love Bieber too.
  6. Real courage lies within those people who show up for first dates completely sober.
  7. We can all do our part in saving trees by just having the damn receipt emailed.
  8. American Idol has run its course and Ryan Seacrest is paying out of pocket for it to air at this point.
  9. There is a greeting card for literally every occasion and it’s the least you could do.
  10. Dating is hard. Single is hard. Relationships are hard.
  11. Learning Eminem rap lyrics is a viable alternative to Sunday crosswords in terms of brain exercise.
  12. If you want to keep your perfect teeth you still have to wear that retainer at least once a week.
  13. Wealthy and financially smart are two different things entirely. The second should be the non-negotiable when choosing a partner.
  14. We’ve all been Lauren Conrad and not gone to Paris.
  15. No one’s family is perfect. Even Jay-Z and Solange couldn’t keep it together for a 15 second elevator ride.
  16. We shouldn’t be buying tea lights anywhere other than IKEA.
  17. Leaving your towel in the bathroom rather than the bedroom is the only real difference between living alone and with roommates.
  18. It has no impact on your day whether or not your make your bed in the morning.
  19. Your parents are real people and they want to drink too much white wine and watch 27 Dresses with you for the thousandth time too.
  20. There are two kinds of people in this world. Those that understand which hand towels are just for decoration and those that don’t.
  21. The endlessly funny people who create viral memes are sitting in basements somewhere not hanging out with us and it sucks.
  22. Religion doesn’t have to be important to you, but if someone asks you to go to church, just put on a dress and do it. It isn’t about you.
  23. At the bare minimum you should know how to jump a car, break into your own home and act like you weren’t napping when someone calls on a Saturday afternoon.
  24. You don’t need to be well versed in politics, current events or last week’s episode of The Bachelor. But you need to be able to fake it.
  25. The east is the superior coast when it comes to television airing times.
  26. Social media isn’t for airing dirty laundry. It’s for remembering birthdays & judging that girl you met once at a networking event’s engagement photos.
  27. Moments are the best thing that life has to offer. TC mark

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