Everything I read now is a list. A step-by-step process of how to fall in love, how to keep your man, what to do when you’re dumped, how it feels to repair a broken heart, whatever.
All of these things have happened to me in the last two years, sure. What no one tells you is that not one of these lists is true when it’s applied to you, and none of them really matter. Sure, they matter for the person who wrote it and someone out there may relate. But what no one tells you is that you are the only person that is living your life.
You are the only person that will experience flirting, passionate sex, fleeting love, heartbreak, rock bottom and starting over for yourself. It’s just you. And you will experience it differently than anyone else.
You can meet someone and fall in love over night. You can be single for years. You can be single for the rest of your life. You can fall in slowly but fiercely. You can take 5 years, 5 months or 1 day to get over someone. You may never get over someone and they will remain a part of you forever. Whatever your path turns out to be, let it happen and live it thoroughly.
It’s easy to read these articles and say “hey, it’s totally cool if I drunk text him tonight because I’m only in step 3 of the ‘what to do when you walked in on your boyfriend cheating on you’ list and that means this is sane and I’m fine, right?” Maybe that’s what you feel is right in the moment, and maybe it’s what you actually want to do. But don’t justify your actions from other people’s experiences.
Listen to your gut, listen to your friends and walk through life the way YOU want to walk through life. Not the way numbers 8-12 tell you to do it.
Close your eyes and take it day by day. You will experience and you will learn and you will grow. Experience it for yourself. Don’t follow a list. Do you and do it well.