To All The Ones Searching For Love

Christopher Sardegna
Christopher Sardegna

I see you; staying in that abusive relationship.

You wonder how you do it, live with this pain.
It hurts everywhere: your mind, your heart, and your gut.
You struggle to find the sweet soul you once knew.
The one that brought you flowers, the one that brought light to your nights.
“This is it. This is the best I can do.” Those are the only words you believe now.
If only, you could see that love is not pain. Love is far from it.
Love, while it is within your reach, also requires you to stretch.
Move. Go. Leave.
Wherever you think love is, it certainly is not here.

I see you; getting on those dating applications.

Swiping left and right on people as though they are products in a catalogue.
The only problem is that they aren’t ever just that, they are real.
At some point in time, we commodified ourselves to each other.
We demand to be appreciated over the most trivial things about us.
Physical appearances, shallow interests- anything to impress a flawed society.
But if you can’t recognize that someone’s value surpasses pictures, biographies and preferences; how will you find the worth in yourself?
If you have your story, don’t they have theirs?
Love only slips through fingers of a hand that has been accustomed to function as filters.

I see you; longing for a soul that will never truly be yours.

Sleepless nights of ‘what if’s’ narrate your sleep.
Wondering if things were different, if circumstances were more accommodating, if roles were reversed, if time could be manipulated; if, if, if.
It is too easy to fall in love in the universe you have created inside your mind that is parallel to ours.
There, falling guarantees being caught.
But not here.
You ache to fill the vacancy in your heart with pieces that will never fit, like pouring water into a petrol tank.
If you were hoping to find love, then first allow yourself to find reason.

I see you; so content with being second best.

You toss and turn with thoughts that have hijacked the peace you once had in your mind.
The name that leaves their lips as they are intoxicated, falling out involuntarily in the dead of night as they are stolen by dreams; well, it is not yours.
You remain present, but so does the fact that you never were and never will be enough.
Trying doesn’t always mean achieving.
Love may hide in countless corners, but it never stays in this one.

I see you; fighting for a life worth living.

You flinch every time you meet your reflection.
Darkness is all you see within you. How could anyone possibly love someone so… empty?
If you were a cat, you would have nine lives at your disposal.
If you had nine lives, it would be easier to end just this one.
People tell you that the voices in your head and the aching of your spirit are not real.
Well then, are those scars on your wrist real?
Don’t count the lines on your skin.
Count the times you have defeated death.
Love can only be the reason to live if you are willing to allow living to be the reason you love.

I see you; sitting on that bar stool, selling all your love.

Who told you these lies?
Your ability to pleasure someone emotionally or physically was never meant to be quantified.
You can never measure how much your intimacy is worth.
The access pass you have distributed force you to build more walls around your heart.
A vicious cycle in a game that humans were never designed to play.
You cannot place the responsibility of loving yourself in the hands of another.
If love is what you want to give, then love is what you must first receive.

I see you; loving everyone but yourself.

You hold the pieces which have broken inside you, but they still make you whole.
Beauty doesn’t necessitate perfection. If you are looking for love, find it first within yourself.
The search for love doesn’t end here, but it is most definitely where it begins. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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