It must be hard to be an erstwhile art student. You want people to know about your degree in printmaking from Bard, but it’s hard to make that clear when the real world doesn’t ask you to bring your portfolio with you everywhere you go. Thankfully, these long-suffering former students have found a solution: dress like Jerry Seinfeld; let THAT be your “portfolio” for the real world, your marker of art student status. And so that’s what they all did, collectively: they hiked up their elastic-waist jeans, threw on a flimsy cap and wore Nike socks with Adidas sandals. But it was only when New York Magazine gave it a title – normcore – that it really started to gain popularity. And now just about everyone wants to look like they’re stuck in an ‘80s made-for-TV movie about the dangers of drinking at unsupervised parties.
2. The makeup at some of the shows…
Perhaps right now you’re wondering what this is. A casting for the prettiest Joker? My grandma’s makeup tutorial? A joke? Actually, I’ll have you know that it’s the makeup for ikumi’s Spring/Summer 2015 show. The currently hyped brand decided to paint their models’ faces as Silly Billy might paint his.
It’s easy to chalk this up to a fluke — nothing more, nothing else. But then: how to explain this at Junya Watanabe?
“Stockholm syndrome,” was my first guess; somehow, through a special concoction of manipulation, isolation and constant reassurance, these models were not only led to believe that they looked great like this, they even came back for more! It was a solid hypothesis, but still very wrong. If you’re concerned about this girl’s mental health, or about the Dalmatian that clearly raped her and is now on the loose — I am too. Let’s hope they rip that tape off her mouth before the dog can get too far.
3. The Dior sneakers.
I’ve touted them before and I’ll continue to tout them until I’m blue in the face, but that doesn’t mean the Dior sneakers do not look like platypuses – platypuses who have gotten a rigorous sequined treatment. They’re lacking any laces, which just adds to their overall disabled effect. Quite frankly, they look like a marriage of wet shoes and Lisa Frank’s crocs. Perhaps it’s the sequined, floral-shaped embroidery or the fact that they have “DIOR” stamped on their soles. Whatever the reason, they’re the prettiest, most coveted platypus sneakers around.
4. Miu Miu rain boots.
And if the Dior sneakers aren’t the shoes of the season, then the clear Miu Miu boots certainly are – boots that I truly do not know how to describe other than “fantastically ugly.” They remind me of dog rain boots. Or miniature raincoats for your feet.
The contrasting colors, the elastic, the screw heel and the fact that they don’t hide your dirty feet are what make them at once extremely ugly and the perfect boot for editorials.
5. Hood By Air.
Some of the best fashion is really weird. Comme des Garçons’ entire existence, it seems, hinges on the fact that it’s weird. But as each season rolls around, and Rei Kawakubo feels the pressure to get even weirder than her last collection, it’s hard to imagine where fashion will go next. Well it seems we’ve found the answer: Hood By Air, a brand that prints logos onto the most basic of t-shirts – logos that are just slightly revamped versions of already existing ones – and makes mobile guillotines. In an attempt to one-up the disabled-looking Dior sneakers, HBA sent a model down the runway a couple weeks ago in forearm crutches. “Brilliant,” the CFDA said, “just brilliant.”
6. The Vivienne Westwood Red Label Spring/Summer 2015 show.
These day, it’s hard to make it as a model if you’re conventionally pretty – even a Gisele nose isn’t what it used to be. And Vivienne Westwood only raised the bar when she uglified her models this year for her Spring ’15 show. Accidentally hired a model with flawless skin? Go the Vivienne Westwood route and draw moles all over her face. And you can forget about hiring makeup artists; the more amateur the beauty look, the better, as Vivienne Westwood reminded us when she sent another model down the runway looking like she had blacked out in a college dorm room and suffered the Sharpie marker consequences.