1. Lindsey Wixson for Vogue Japan’s September 2014 issue, shot by Giampaolo Sgura and styled by Anna Dello Russo.
I want to believe that Giampaolo was fucking with Lindsey when he shot her for this spread. I want to believe that he was bored and so decided to swipe the exact lines from Austin Powers to see how Lindsey would respond.
“Now you’re a lemur. Running as a pack. We go left. We go right. There’s a predator out of the jungle. What’s going on? Burrow! That’s right, you’re a lemur. That’s all you’ve got.”
And then, it appears, Lindsey complied.
2. Emily Baker for Vogue Netherlands’ October issue, shot by Ishi and styled by Marije Goekoop.
Or as I like to call, the Run of Shame. As opposed to the Walk of Shame, the Run of Shame occurs when you wake up after a drunken night in a stranger’s bed, can’t find your pants, say “the hell with it!” and skedaddle!
3. Amy Finlayson in the September 14th edition of Sunday Times Magazine from Australia, shot by Chantel Concei and styled by Teagan Sewell.
Chantel: Act like you’re allergic. Very allergic.
Amy: I…I am.
4. Natasha Poly and her daughter Aleksandra for Vogue Paris’ October 2014 issue, shot by Mario Testino and styled by Emmanuelle Alt.
Aleksandra be like…
Who the F*CK are you and what have you done with my mother? I demand an answer. You sick, sick man.
Just took a poo on her knee.
5. Charlotte Free for Purple Fashion Issue 22, shot by Donna Trope and makeup by Georgina Graham.
I demand to know where Purple found this photo of me on my way to 10th grade high school homecoming.
6. Andreea Diaconu for V Magazine’s fall 2014 issue, shot by Solve Sundsbo and styled by George Cortina.
I feel like I forgot something…
K, why do I still feel like I’m missing something??
Yup, forgot my pants. OUT OF MY WAY. NEED TO GET HOME.
Stop laughing at me?
7. Anna Ewers, Sam Rollinson and Ashleigh Good for Vogue UK’s December 2013 issue, shot by Josh Olins and styled by Lucinda Chambers.
Oh, Anna, would you give it a rest already? I do not want to eat the orange covered in twine!
8. Yuya Srashina for Vogue Japan’s 15th Anniversary issue, shot by Mario Testino.
Me when Williamsburg Creamery says that cotton candy ice cream is in stock.
9. Lara Stone for Stella McCartney’s fragrance campaign, directed by Mert Alas & Marcus Piggott.
In which Lara Stone gets hungry, tries to eat perfume bottle submerged in ice.
10. Sasha Luss for Vogue China’s October 2014 issue, shot by Solve Sundsbo and styled by Beat Bolliger.
Scale of 1-10, Sasha: How badly do you have to pee?
11. Raquel Zimmermann shot by David Sims for Flair’s September 2014 issue.
Raquel be like…
When my agent mentioned the hairy donut look, I thought she meant I was getting a donut. Like to eat.