So…sneakers are a thing. Been a thing for awhile now actually, or at least ever since Phoebe Philo stomped out onto the Céline Spring 2011 runway to take a bow wearing a pair of Adidas Stan Smith sneakers. Then came the Spring 2014 couture shows. Chanel had girls propped up on lace, sparkly, A Midsummer Night’s Dream-esque sneakers.
http://instagram.com/p/r75UWPPGzH/?modal=true
And for the Dior couture show, Raf Simons sent models down the runway in equally sparkly sneakers of a darker hue.
Then it emerged that those Chanel couture sneakers were one big ruse; you can get a pair, there’s just one sliiiiiight catch: you have to purchase a couture outfit with them (oh, and a couture outfit starts at around $15,000). We all laughed, thinking this must be a joke; then when we learned it wasn’t, we cried. Then we were all “Phew!” when Karl sent models down the aisles of a supermarket-themed show for his Fall 2014 ready-to-wear collection wearing sneakers again — sneakers that we can apparently actually buy, on their own, if we so please.
http://instagram.com/p/sC65wVFIbf/?modal=true
Still, the hard, biting truth remains: there is only one collection of couture sneakers we can realistically obtain. Life man…it’s hard.
So, um, the Dior sneakers. They’re kind of ugly, but only in a Sid from Ice Age kind-of-way. And of the uglies, they’re the prettiest sneakers I’ve ever laid eyes on. They’ll cost you $1100, and a quick peep at their meticulous production process will clue you in as to why that might be.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjlAWKPAwKM
These aren’t the type of sneakers that immediately catch your eye. They’re the type that age well; the type whose appeal emerges gradually and only with the help of instances in which they were impeccably styled. Like Georgia May Jagger, on the cover of Miss Vogue Australia:
And herein lies the reason Paris Hilton could never (or rather should never) wear them. Paris Hilton will always be an oversized sunglasses, Louboutin, tiara kind-of-gal. At this juncture, she’ll always be an heiress through-and-through. She’s past the point of being able to cross over to a hipper, more alternative side; Nicole Richie has all but left her in the dust. And that is why she will always be unfit for these Dior couture sneakers. 
