Why Paris Hilton Would Never Wear The New Dior Sneakers

So…sneakers are a thing. Been a thing for awhile now actually, or at least ever since Phoebe Philo stomped out onto the Céline Spring 2011 runway to take a bow wearing a pair of Adidas Stan Smith sneakers. Then came the Spring 2014 couture shows. Chanel had girls propped up on lace, sparkly, A Midsummer Night’s Dream-esque sneakers.

And for the Dior couture show, Raf Simons sent models down the runway in equally sparkly sneakers of a darker hue.

Then it emerged that those Chanel couture sneakers were one big ruse; you can get a pair, there’s just one sliiiiiight catch: you have to purchase a couture outfit with them (oh, and a couture outfit starts at around $15,000). We all laughed, thinking this must be a joke; then when we learned it wasn’t, we cried. Then we were all “Phew!” when Karl sent models down the aisles of a supermarket-themed show for his Fall 2014 ready-to-wear collection wearing sneakers again — sneakers that we can apparently actually buy, on their own, if we so please.

Still, the hard, biting truth remains: there is only one collection of couture sneakers we can realistically obtain. Life man…it’s hard.

So, um, the Dior sneakers. They’re kind of ugly, but only in a Sid from Ice Age kind-of-way. And of the uglies, they’re the prettiest sneakers I’ve ever laid eyes on. They’ll cost you $1100, and a quick peep at their meticulous production process will clue you in as to why that might be.

These aren’t the type of sneakers that immediately catch your eye. They’re the type that age well; the type whose appeal emerges gradually and only with the help of instances in which they were impeccably styled. Like Georgia May Jagger, on the cover of Miss Vogue Australia:

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Miss Vogue Australia September Cover 💗

A post shared by Georgia May Jagger (@georgiamayjagger) on

And herein lies the reason Paris Hilton could never (or rather should never) wear them. Paris Hilton will always be an oversized sunglasses, Louboutin, tiara kind-of-gal. At this juncture, she’ll always be an heiress through-and-through. She’s past the point of being able to cross over to a hipper, more alternative side; Nicole Richie has all but left her in the dust. And that is why she will always be unfit for these Dior couture sneakers. TC mark

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