So far, among the highlights of New York, London and Milan fashion weeks are the countless sheer numbers that permeated the runways. Practically every designer had a sheer look in their Spring/Summer 2015 collection, each more elegant and magnificent than the next. But, as I’ve already mentioned, methinks the sheer look won’t transition particularly well to my morning commute on the J train. Indeed, most designers didn’t bother putting anything underneath the sheer garments at all. But those who did can count themselves among the purveyors of a new garment: the fancy panties.
Fancy underwear — worn either on its own or under a sheer garment — has found itself in countless iterations so far for the Spring/Summer 2015 season. But before you shout “SMH!” at me, let me just say one thing: crop tops. As Rob Ford certainly knows, they’re everywhere. And what is a crop top if not just another, more supportive bra? Even bra tops are deemed acceptable womenswear — both for high and low fashion. Versace had started doing the bra tops with matching pants as early as 1992.
Why should bra tops be any more acceptable than fancy underwear?
1. Dolce & Gabbana.
It was only a matter of time until diapers were held hostage by matadors. And I must say: the result is terrific. Embroidered, mariachi-themed diapers will be everywhere come spring.
2. Meadham Kirchoff.
Oh it’s there; at first glance, the shredding, layering, ruffles and bloody tampons might distract, but look a little harder and you’ll find her fancy panties buried deep within. What I like about these chaotic panties is just that: the chaos. If I should find myself wearing these, I’d take great pleasure in the fac that, by the time anyone got a good look at the underwear, I’d be long gone. If you’re going to make it this easy for others to see your underwear, better to wear a pair that requires a bit of effort to absorb.
All that glistens may not be gold — like Sibling’s fancy panties, they might just be coated in sequins — but they do make for the perfect statement panty, if that’s what you happen to be going for. Sibling also did well to remind us that Little Bow Peep looks best with lost sheep AND lost pants.
4. The Louis Vuitton Iconoclasts campaign.
Louis Vuitton is releasing a collection of their signature monogrammed bags designed by Karl Lagerfeld, Christian Louboutin, Cindy Sherman, Frank Gehry, Marc Newson and Rei Kawakubo aptly called the Iconoclasts line. And in the campaign, Freja Beha Erichsen, Julia Nobis, Liya Kedebe and Saskia de Brauware are modeling the bags while wearing simple, ribbed underwear with little else. And it does make a girl wonder — specifically, whether this would look just as good if the Louis Vuitton bags were swapped out for the potato sacks I typically tote around town.
I heard that the sequined denim hot pants from Moschino’s Spring/Summer 2015 collection was actually Emma Watson’s back-up outfit for the HeForShe speech she gave at the U.N. this past weekend.
6. Tommy Hilfiger.
It’s funny; I was just lamenting to my friends the little use I was able to get out of my swimsuits this past summer. I was WONDERING if I could find a way to finagle them into my winter wardrobe and — just my luck! — Tommy showed me how. Now listen very closely because I’m only going to say this once: you wear your bikini, throw on boots and a couple temporary tattoos and then you remain cold until you gather your wits, go home and put on some actual clothes.
7. No. 21.
With the same baggy, diaper-esque silhouette as Dolce & Gabbana’s fancy panties, No. 21’s version is among the few that you can actually imagine wearing without having to take hourly bathroom breaks just to cry.