16 Things Gay Guys Don’t Seem To Understand (Because, Gay Guy Privilege, Duh)

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The following piece of satire was written in response to 18 Things White People Seem To Not Understand (Because, White Privilege). Macy, I hear your struggles and I recognize your courage, but to address all “white people” in your piece is not only wrong, but unfair. What I think you meant to say was “rich white heterosexual men.” This piece could have covered all gay people (it could have also covered white Jews or transgender people of all races) instead of just gay guys, but I highlight this specific demographic to demonstrate where Macy went wrong.

1. Gay guy privilege is being able to marry whomever you like…that is, if you live in California, Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New Mexico, Delaware, Hawaii, Illinois, Minnesota, New Hampshire, New York, Rhode Island, Vermont, Maine, Maryland or Washington D.C.

2. Gay privilege is having the choice to be gay bashed if that should fancy you.

3. Gay privilege is being in a world where people protest in your name.

4. Gay privilege is never being told to “get over slavery.”

5. Gay privilege is finding amusement in Fox News; it’s the ability to separate your personal feelings from bigots and see these people for the fools they truly are.

6. Gay guy privilege is having a better shot at dating Neil Patrick Harris than any woman out there.

7. Gay privilege is walking down the streets of NYC with your head held high because you know you’re surrounded by people who (for the most part) support your sexuality and see you as no different from themselves.

8. Gay guy privilege is nabbing the best sugar daddies.

9. Gay guy privilege is being a dude with the option to freely enjoy oneself at a Miley Cyrus concert.

10. Gay guy privilege is being fully and instantly accepted as a man in the fashion industry without a second thought.

11. Gay guy privilege is having people smile at you as you’re walking down the street hand-in-hand with another man because “it’s so nice to see open gay couples.”

12. Gay guy privilege is being able to body roll and transition that into a triumphant drop-it-low, without people being surprised.

13. Gay guy privilege is being the head of your school’s LGBT club.

14. Gay guy privilege is having an innate understanding of color schemes.

15. Gay guy privilege is being able to sign up for Grindr without others thinking twice about it.

16. Gay guy privilege is having a better shot at being Kim Kardashian’s BFF than any woman out there.