1. He’s a seasoned spooner.
When the camera panned over to Hannah and Adam sleeping in bed in the Girls premiere, I was suddenly overwhelmed with a desire to replace Hannah right there in Adam’s warm and protective nook. Most guys claim to enjoy cuddling, and they’ll do it too. But as soon as the lights go out, it’s as if they’ve resigned from their role as big spoon, and casually turn the other way. Yet, as we saw in the premiere’s opening scene, Adam clearly has no such qualms, happily sleeping as he obviously was while also standing in as Hannah’s human blanket.
2. He hates Halloween.
There will always be a warm spot in my heart reserved for any and all people who abhor Halloween. It’s a sign of genuine maturity and suggests an experienced cynic.
3. He’s polite.
So far in season 3, Adam has yet to fatally blow up at Hannah or any of her friends. And moments when you think he’s at his breaking point, he’ll turn around and wow us all with some unbelievable act of kindness or altruism. At Hannah’s dinner party for instance, we were all expecting Adam to lose his cool—he did, after all, tell Hannah he doesn’t “want to have her friends over for dinner.” And yet, he did nothing of the sort, but instead stepped up to the plate at moments even Hannah couldn’t, patiently listening to Shoshanna’s stories and giving Marnie the attention and advice she needed.
Oh and he also says “please,” as in, “Can you shut your computer down now pleeeeaseeeee.”
4. He’s incapable of lying, or grand acts of deceit.
During the Grumpy’s scene, when Natalia and Amy Schumer’s character ripped Adam a new asshole, Adam actually proved to be rather disarming. “Who is that?” Hannah asks him, clearly aware that something’s up. “Who is who?” Adam responds. And yet, to even mutter this lie was clearly too arduous for him, and as soon as Natalia approaches them he immediately drops all the bullshit he unsuccessfully tried to feed Hannah.
Adam is so royally fucked up in the head, and yet so insightful and self-aware that he’s physically incapable of lying to Hannah. Sometimes it’s to his detriment—”I’m not interested in anything [your friends] have to say”—but most of the time it’s charming and reassuring. Because, as such an open book, he’s ill-equipped for acts of manipulation.
5. He’s fucking weird.
He’s totally batshit nuts, but not in a psycho killer kind-of-way. On the contrary, his oddball ways manifest themselves in quirky, somehow-adorable traits like not knowing how to play Truth or Dare. It’s scenes like those that reveal a lost-puppy side to him that you just want to care for.
6. He’s hilarious.
And in the most unique ways possible. He doesn’t have typical guy humor—the kind of jokes that are told at the expense of feminism or a woman’s right to not hate herself. Rather it’s his low threshold for people like Shoshanna and his penchant for growling that make him hilarious.
It was really weird when he forced Shoshanna out of the hotel room so that he could bang Hannah, but somehow he still appeared blameless in this whole scenario—probably because of his hysterical approach to kicking Shoshanna out with an abrupt “K, bedtime! Nighttime!”
7. He’s caring and reliable.
It’s not just that he makes Hannah take her meds every day—it’s that he brings her pills to her with a glass of OJ, and even makes her stick out her tongue afterward to make sure she swallowed.
He drove Hannah and Shoshanna to pick up Jessa from rehab—someone who he’s not beholden to in the slightest. He’s always by Hannah’s side, there whenever she needs him. Which seemed to be confirmed during the Grumpy’s/Natalia confrontation when he grabbed Hannah’s hand and said, “Okay, I think Hannah it’s time for us to go.”
8. He makes things out of paper mache.
He’s not afraid to go against the grain; to pursue a pastime deemed outdated by many. He’s also obviously artistic and creative—I mean, the tooth necklace for god’s sake. The tooth necklace.
9. He dated someone who’s related to Gabriel Garcia Marquez.
And furthermore, he realizes this is an impressive trait, but still has the wherewithal to discern when such traits are meaningless—particularly, in the face of a hollow relationship.
10. He’s modest.
He referred to himself as “just a thug,” when he was trying to give Marnie relationship advice. When Shoshanna tells him he’s “so dementedly helpful,” his response is: “Oooookay…cool.” He doesn’t get his panties in a twist when he’s reminded of his lack of friends, but instead gives swoon-inducing rejoinders like, “Well Hannah is my best friend.”
11. He’s a natural poet.
And it’s his hastily blurted-out thoughts that are typically the most poetic too. Like, jesus, he quotes The Rolling Stones without even meaning to. But perhaps his most poetic moment was his speech to Marnie at Hannnah’s dinner party:
…And I just stared at the ceiling all day, remembering the first time we fought. On my couch, in Sunnyside, after a rainstorm, on a Thursday. And then one day after being fucked up for months I realized something: I didn’t know her. She didn’t know me. Just because I tasted her cum and spit or could tell you her middle name or knew what record she liked, that doesn’t mean anything, that’s not a connection, anyone can have that. Really knowing someone is something else. It’s a completely different thing. And when it happens you wont be able to miss it, you will be aware. And you wont hurt or be afraid. Okay?
12. He hates bad music.
More important than the music a dude listens to is the music he refuses to listen to. For Adam, that music is the “I try to tell him no, but my body keeps on telling me yes” song and I love him for it.
13. He cares about Hannah’s writing.
He’s involved in Hannah’s work, but not in an overly-critical or overbearing kind-of-way. He’s like a keenly aware spectator, always looking in on Hannah’s work and trying to facilitate it as much as possible. For instance during the road trip, when he stopped the car to go for a quick hike, he reminded Hannah that this brief brush with nature could be a cauldron of writing opportunities.
14. He doesn’t take himself too seriously.
When he’s not taking care of Hannah or trying to bone her, he’s like a 12-year-old boy stuck in a giant’s body. He seems genuinely elated when play-fighting or dancing weirdly with Hannah.
15. He has excellent manners.
And yet they’re all distilled into this distinctly Adam kind-of-way. At Hannah’s party, for instance, he enthusiastically greeted her parents, making eye contact with them and shaking their hands, while saying, “it’s great to fucking see you again!” We don’t see him holding doors open for anyone, but we do see him lift an obstructive branch for Shoshanna while they’re hiking.
16. He’s insightful and surprisingly intellectual.
He told Shoshanna, “I don’t catalog my mind, it’s unhealthy.” And his remarks about his sister, while vague, were unpredictably astute too: “She doesn’t even have the common courtesy to implode alone.”