15 Signs You’ve Still Got It

1. Phlegm

A tip: this “do-I-got-it-or-do-I-not-got-it?” game is SUPREMELY more fun if you play around with the meaning of “it.” For instance. If “it” was…say…remnants of the flu, then you’re damn right I still got it! And unlike most women everywhere, I got it even more so in the morning, after I’ve just woken up.

2. You’re asked out on Twitter

I swear this has happened to me three times in the past month. Go ahead, take a gander. My twitter is public. Then follow me. Thanks bye.

3. You get complimented on the train

Or your bookmark gets complimented, whatever, who’s counting. The other day this super cute dude turned to me and was all, “Is that…a Marc Jacob’s bookmark?” “Um yeah?” I answered. “Oh my god that’s so cool,” he said. To which I thought, really?? Is it cool? Or is it a piece of cardboard that’s distracting you from my face? Think about it.

4. You get followed home

At first it’s kind of creepy, but after the sinister, rape-y vibes subside and your heart stops racing, you’ll see this for what it is: irrefutable evidence that you still have the elusive “it.”

5. You receive random presents during the day

One time I was working as an editorial intern and, without exchanging any words at all, my boss just walked over to my desk, plopped down a book, and walked away. The book was On Writing Well, by William Zinsser and I was like, k all you had to do was tell me I still got it, but this works too!

6. Your schedule is jam-packed with Hanukkah parties

AKA my life this week. I grant myself extra points for the fact that Hanukkah is long since over and that I’ll be eating my latkes with crème fraîche and caviar. The act of merely attending these parties is just a roundabout way of exhibiting still-got-it-ness.

7. Sometimes all it takes is a couple reminders from your trustworthy commenters:

8. T-Low from Next is in your corner

Not to toot my own horn or anything but T-Low, from Next, told someone who told me that he was cracking up at my Next article. And it’s like whatever, I’m normally super modest but I’ll take it.

9. Barista lets you “owe” him/her

I just moved to Brooklyn and discovered that this borough doesn’t believe in Chase Bank. As a result, I often find myself in need of cash. Hence why I owe a total of $40, collectively, to the coffee shops in my hood. But good news: owing them money inevitably means they gave me a free cup (if temporarily), which IN TURN means I’ve still got it.

Conversely, if “it” were money, I would not have it at all.

10. Beacon’s Closet buys some of your clothes

It’s a rare day that you bring clothes over to Beacon’s Closet and don’t get sent home with a full bag and an eye-roll. That rare day for me was two days ago. Ergo: Still. Got. It.

11. Your friend sends you a sext

Okay so maybe it’s your best friend and she meant to send it to her boyfriend, but this isn’t the time to be picky.

12. Your ex Instagrams a pic of his new tinder page

As in, he thought it necessary to show the world that he is seeking a new woman—a woman who is, in fact, not you, but instead chosen from the pool of random women who are signed up for tinder.

It’s like, okay, I get it, I still got it but must the whole world know? Yeah? K. Awesome.

13. You wake up next to pizza

Perhaps you wake up on a Sunday morning and feel particularly gross. Perhaps you wonder why your face feels like a blowfish again? Then you turn over and see the pizza box that you destroyed the previous night at 3am and you’re like, “By god, I must still have it!”

14. Crotch sniff

On my way to work this morning, a husky totally smelled my crotch. #stillgotit.

15. you’re mistaken for Rachael Sacks

I met a journalist for the NY Observer the other night. We got to talking journalism—she asked me where I work, I told her Thought Catalog. “Wait—are you Rachael Sacks?” she asked me. I responded with a curt “No, no I’m not. But I’ve evidently still got it. So there’s that.”