I was curious as to the effects of icyhot when rubbed upon one’s nipples.
I shaved my pubes and added aftershave to it once. It wasn’t until I felt the cooling sensation of the liquid touch my freshly shaved member that I realized what a big fucking mistake I’ve made.
A very strong burning sensation ensued… followed by the girlish screams of an adolescent 15 year old boy.
So two weeks ago, my boss called me at my desk. And it went like this.
Boss “So, Mike, I’m in Greenville, NC.”
Boss “You were supposed to send me to Greenville, SC.”
Me “Uhhhh…I don’t know what to say right now except sorry.”
tl;dr: I sent my boss to the wrong state because I didn’t realize there was a Greenville, NC and a Greenville, SC.
One time when I had a stomach flu I thought I only had to fart.
A friend was introducing me to guy, and the guy reached out his hand a little. Instinctively I reached out and shook his hand. As I did that, I heard my friend say “Oh no…” under his breath, and thats when I realized he didn’t reach his hand out to shake mine…..it was paralyzed that way.
Was having sex, doggy style, reached that moment of joy, and with incredible timing happened to pull out too far on the outward pump, not realizing this quick enough I thrusted forward again only to realize my dick was not inside her, but was actually point straight up, RIGHT AT MY FACE.
Yes, you guessed it, I gave myself a facial.
Near the start of my junior year in high school, I signed up to join the Marines after graduating. I signed the papers, picked a job, swore the oath, and took the physical.
The date all this happened: September 1, 2001. Man, was I in for a surprise.
While I was gunning for what I think was my second convoy security mission in Iraq when my Sgt told me to shoot a flare over a bridge we were rapidly approaching. And so I prepped a white flare when suddenly my driver decides to pull out of the convoy and drive along the side of one of the supply vehicles. So I set the flare aside and turn the turret to keep my weapon pointed away from the convoy. The flare proceeded to roll right into the gun truck and explode, forcing me, my driver, and my TC to bail while the truck was still rolling. I watched as the flare set off all our ammunition, melt our weapons, gear, and the truck itself as I thought to myself, I made a huge mistake.