I once said, “Are you fucking kidding me” in earshot of my 6th graders after I watched the class bully go up to bat and strike out. Prior to this I had overheard him telling some other boys, behind the back stop, how much of a pussy they are and to “Watch me knock it out of the park”.
When I taught 4th grade, I had a hearing-impaired little boy who wore special hearing aids that picked up my voice from a microphone I wore around my neck while teaching. I was pretty good about turning it off when I was not delivering a lesson, but sometimes I forgot. One day I was so frustrated with my class, and I went into the hallway to cool off. I vented quietly, while banging my head against the wall, “These stupid fucking kids, I want to knock their stupid fucking heads together.” (Of course I didn’t mean it). Took a deep breath and went back in. The little boy was smiling a shit-eating grin and winked at me. He never told anyone. He was so cool.
I was talking about genres of literature to my 3rd graders and I said something along the lines of, “Fantasy is something made up or that couldn’t happen, like Santa Claus.” I heard a gasp from a student and another student said, “Nuh, uh!” I was that that guy, the guy who took away the mystery.
Preface: The word for penis in Japanese is “chinchin.” I was a teacher in Japan at the time, in a 6th grade class. We were playing a game and I was naming different body parts for them to touch (touch your knee! touch your eyebrow! touch your elbow!). I was having trouble thinking of the next part for them to touch, and blurted out “Touch your chin!” without thinking. Cue 20 6th grade boys laughing and grabbing their crotches.
I used to work at a preschool as a toddler teacher. We had these annoying strings hanging from the ceiling with clothespins on them, so that we could clip up artwork or decorations. One of them was right at eye level, and after walking right in to it several times and uttering obscenities under my breath, I decided to take it down. One boy, a very observant little boy as it turns out, asked me, “where damn-it go?” It took me a week to convince him that clothespins are not called “damnits.”
About 6 years ago, I am teaching 7th grade writing. I had just gotten a new student who could be best described as strange. My lesson is coming to an end and I am getting ready to give the assignment. The strange new kid raises his hand about the same time as another student. He then begins to whistle at me while raising his hand. I turn to him and explode. I ask, “Do you think I am a fucking dog?” The class erupts in laughter. I never lived that one down. All the classes heard about it.
I work at a juvenile correctional facility as a teacher. One day my students were really grouchy and uncooperative so I got flustered and said “Boy are you guys Crabby today” Quicker than I could understand what was happening five of the biggest, burly, known gang affiliated youth shot up out of their chairs with literal fire in their eyes and said “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY” Turns out the Bloods gang members will sometimes call the Crips gang members Crabs to insult them. Thankfully they quickly realized I did not mean it with malice (being a pasty middle aged white guy) and sat down before it got ugly.