They say, “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” This is especially true in the minutes, and hours, or longer, that a chick has to wait for her man to arrive. Is he coming home late from work? Or did he give no reason at all? Men are mysterious, but we would never ask them to change. But changing the channels back to the news to see if he’s extra held up by being interviewed means you need to get a freaking hobby. Or chore. The internet’s a great hobby when too much t.v. starts compromising your sanity but you don’t want to make a post or comment just because you’re bored, you want to express yourself, and the only self expression now is, “I want my man to be here with me!” You call a friend, but they can just hear the anticipation in your voice of a meeting soon to be held without them there. You can’t do anything that requires another shower, like working out or hard cleaning. You want to get in a zone though, but not one of those dirty zones, but in an about to be dirty zone, relaxed, calm, in a great mood, and ready to give all your love and full attention. Here is a list of 10 great things to do while waiting for a guy to come over:
1. You still have to fold your laundry. Leftover from five days ago, maybe this is a good time to do it! Then when your clothes are all over the floor later, you’ll be able to find them afterwards more quickly.
2. Don’t text him, he’s playing video games. Maybe he wants some absence to make your heart grow fonder. Let it be.
3. Eat fruit.
4. Knit him a scarf. Knit him many scarves. Knit him a scarf for every day of the week. Ask him his favorite colors. Text him from the craft store all the yarns. Come back the next day to buy one after he texts you back.
5. Don’t watch a chick flick. All the sappy romance that doesn’t exist in real life will not get you in the zone for some real fun. Check your chick flick expectations at the door, and watch You’ve Got Mail when you’re not expecting your man in twenty minutes. You want to be in the zone to see your man, not a fictional Tom Hanks character.
6. Learn a language that he knows. There is so much time, and there’s no time like the present to learn a language as a present to your man. Maybe you’ll have a secret language. Maybe your kids will be bilingual. Maybe you can tell him you love him in a new way, twice over for learning his other tongue too!
7. Listen to “I’m Waiting For The Man” by The Velvet Underground on loop. Maybe it’s not about literally waiting for your boyfriend to come over, but it’s a catchy tune to get riled up to and wile out to, to make your waiting more concrete and yet also feel less like concrete by dancing it out.
8. Light a sage candle to rid the room of evil spirits. I read this on an obscure empath website once five years ago, and it totally totally works. Evil spirits begone!
9. Pretend it’s the 90’s. Pretend you don’t have a cell phone, watch a 90’s movie (not a chick flick), listen to some 90’s music, read a book from the 90’s, and don’t go on social media. Then you can pretend that all that’s going on is in the room between you guys, once he arrives.
10. Watch a walkthrough of a video game he likes so you’re on the same page. Face it, ladies, he’s probably playing video games right now while we’re waiting for him to come over. What’s a modern woman to do? Go on YouTube, type in his favorite/current video game and “walkthrough” and see if there’s a funny nerd who played through the game for you to watch and learn about it. It’s like catching up on current events!
By doing these 10 things I guarantee that when your man finally arrives you will be feeling more organized, smarter, fuller, less exposed to evil spirits, ready to entertain him, and psyched to hang with your man (you already were).