What You Don’t Realize He’s Doing Because He Lacks Confidence

Alvin Mahmudov

The first thing you must recognize is that the way a man treats a woman is a reflection of himself. I wish I had someone to tell me this when I was younger, because it really changes your perspective on relationships.

Your job as a woman is not to hold your man down, keep him in line, or constantly be paranoid that he is doing something he shouldn’t. I’ve been in relationships where a guy will start by giving you all the compliments you want to hear, it will be music to yours ears, but you can’t let that deceive you. Once you are out of the honeymoon stage is when you really start to notice the kind of person they are. Whether they do it subconsciously or on purpose, there is still a right and a wrong. When a man starts to doubt his confidence and/or his self worth, he may drag you down with him. This is because many men try to make you insecure enough to stay with them.

Insecurities ruin many relationships, and that can come from females just as much as it can from males. Many people surround themselves with tons of people of the opposite sex because they only thrive off of that attention. They can only feel good about themselves if they constantly feel wanted. This can be extremely hard for a person who is in a relationship with them. Most will do anything they can to get it, including risking their relationship even if they are not necessarily “cheating”.

You may be able to detect from their ego. The more people they surround themselves with, the more it inflates, and the more you feel as if you aren’t enough. What a terrible lie you would be believing because they are not enough for themselves. You must find yourself a person who can be whole on their own, not someone who constantly has to fill themselves up with the attention of others to be complete.

A common trend I’ve also noticed is not necessarily a man putting his woman down directly, but raising other women above her. Talking about another girl right in front of his own does not make a funny joke no matter how much he tries to laugh it off. Do not feel bad for letting it piss you off. Do not feel bad if it makes you insecure because you are hearing it from a person who’s opinion you value. Your emotions on this topic are always valid, no matter what anyone else may tell you.

The solution to all of this is simple. Do not play the game. You don’t have to compete with other women, you don’t have to compete with him if you just choose not to play. Your confidence is yours, and yours alone. Unless a man is adding to it, do not let him in on it. Being with someone should never require you to give up an important part of yourself. Learn to find your worth on your own, and if you don’t play the game, you can’t lose. Perhaps your confidence will radiate to the ones who need it most and end the cycle once and for all. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Kinda have a thing for driving barefoot, talking to animals, and grooving to music with the people I love.

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