If I could write a letter to my future daughter about heartbreak, this is what it would say.
You see, heartbreak isn’t something you should be in denial about. Being heartbroken in a world that tries to hide it is absolutely stunning. It shows others that you are human, and it encourages them to feel these emotions too.
You don’t have to throw up a wall, you don’t have to be something you’re not. Don’t be afraid to be raw and vulnerable with people, it is often mistaken for weakness, but couldn’t be further from it.
This will be the most painful experience you’ve ever had. Your body will physically ache, you won’t eat for days (maybe longer), every sad song will make you bawl your eyes out, and you will go through more tubs of Ben and Jerry’s than they have available at the store.
You won’t be able to eat their favorite cereal, and going to the restaurant he took you to on your first date won’t even be an option.
Heartbreak takes time. The more you try to rush it, the longer it will take. Let everything play out the way it’s supposed to.
Feel every feeling, don’t hate yourself for crying even though it’s been weeks, and yes, you’re allowed to have more ice cream.
Some days you’ll feel your very best, other days it will feel worse than before, but you must understand it’s all part of the healing process.
The bad days aren’t a step back, you must have them and get them out of your system to be able to fully move on. Be patient with yourself.
You should allow yourself to text them. You should allow yourself to see them. Stalk them on social media if you want, and find out who they’re kissing now, because eventually you will learn. You’ll keep stabbing yourself so much that after some time it won’t be worth it anymore. That’s when you’ll learn to put the knife down. Some things you have to learn yourself.
After all is said and done, you can’t blame love for the destruction caused by people. Avoid becoming numb with every ounce of strength in you. Love is not evil, true love does exist. It’s okay to still think about them, you can go easy on yourself, but you can’t be so caught up in the past that you forget to make new memories and a future.
The day will come. You will feel whole again. They will not be your first thought when you wake up, and they will not be your last before you go to sleep. Their face will start to fade more and more with each day, and so will the memories.
Looking back won’t cause pain anymore, it will make you smile, because true love comes from a beautiful place. You won’t believe me when I say this, but you will find love again and it will be just as beautiful, if not even more.
You’re not weak. You’re not ruined. You’re a warrior for what you’ve been through. I admire the hell out of you. Know that the hardest part is over with, you’ve already won the battle, now you must let time take it’s course and bring you to victory. It’s time to let go now.
It’s time to plant new seeds, dear. It’s time to grow things in your heart that aren’t poisonous.