What The Things A Woman Keeps On Her Bedside Table Say About Her

Everything you need to know about a girl is a part of her bedside table. We all keep those things close — always within arm’s reach. If shit happens, those are the things that are closest. So what does she need? Phone. Light switch. Glasses, obviously.

But those are simply surface-level.

Look for pictures. If she loves somebody, she’ll keep them close to her. 2x3s in a wallet, framed photos on the table, or maybe an old Polaroid in the drawer. The only thing that matters is that they’re there… or that they aren’t.

Does she have a knife or a gun? Maybe a mid-sized hammer? Small detail but it’s one that’s important to know, especially if you’re that close to her bedside table. These people would be prepared, theoretically at least.

Do you see a vibrator? No need for elaboration here.

Eye drops? Stoner. No way around that one. Who actually uses eye drops for allergies, anyway?

If there’s no phone charger, this woman is a pure daredevil. She lives on the edge and relies on the kindness of others. Or maybe she passed out somewhere random, which also implies, daredevil. Not having a phone charger lets her break out of her chains and do whatever she wants. It makes her free.

Food. Survivors have food. Beyoncé is a survivor. Beyoncé basically mandated that you need to survive, and she’s saying that you need food because you need food to survive. Beyoncé is a survivor so she needs food! She needs food! You need food because she needs food. If she has food, she’s a keeper, because she wants to keep you safe and happy. Also, she’s like Beyoncé, so hold her close to your heart.

If this girl has a wallet by her bed, you should be worried. Either she obsessively peruses online sales at her favorite stores or she’s ordering takeout in bed. You could call these girls resourceful… in theory. Maybe these girls are just the smart ones who have realized that it’s easier to make other people do things for you than to do them yourself.

Last night’s jewelry says a lot about her style. Is she two classy pearl earrings unceremoniously placed on the book she left open that afternoon? Or is her jewelry more bulky, does she have more of a loud personality? TC mark

featured image – Hillary Boles

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