To The Girls Who Have Just Gotten Dumped

Savannah van der Niet
Savannah van der Niet

What is there really to say? You got dumped. It happened. It wasn’t a big fight, it wasn’t loud crash, it wasn’t a betrayal, or a lie, but it was heartbreaking. It wasn’t slow, it wasn’t drawn out, but it was fast, unexpected, and one-sided. And you know what? That all fucking sucks. It does! But, you know what else? It’s over. It’s done, and you survived. Now it’s time to get on with “it” – “it” being living the rest of your life.

You’ll take time to grieve. You’ll cry, you’ll sob, you’ll rage (both in terms of anger and in terms of alcohol consumption), you’ll shop, you’ll binge, you’ll starve, but slowly, you’ll start getting back to normal. A new normal, but a normal nonetheless.

You’re going to move into a new place. A place that fits every. single. thing. you. own. You heard me! A giant closet, all for you. You can buy whatever goddamn furniture you please. Blue velvet couch? Yours. Crazy IKEA lamp? Set that Skörgblërgergtürder up.

Watch Sex & The City followed by The Emperor’s New Groove. Listen to Adele, Justin Bieber, The Decembrists, RAC, and T. Swift. Dance while you’re getting dressed. Dance before bed.

Do all this, and you’ll start to feel like yourself again. Sorta. I mean, you’ll cry – don’t get me wrong. You’ll feel more feelings in an hour than you used to feel in a month. But is that so bad? Bad for your wallet? Yes. Bad for your eye makeup? Even more yes. But bad for you? I’m not so sure.

You’ll go to work, and you’ll have moments of clarity. Epiphanies of how much more you can accomplish now that – in the words of your mother – the world is your oyster! (Even though you’re not really sure what the origin of that phrase is or what it really even means…) But then you’ll have moments where you feel numb and vacant, and you’ll have trouble focusing.

So you’ll go online, and look at photos. Photos you don’t want to see but somehow can’t stay away from. Images that feel like the first sip of whiskey – comforting, burning, intoxicating. You’ll remember hitting “like”, writing the comment, sharing with friends. You’ll curse yourself for being so stupid, so naive as to think it would last. To think that you would never be sitting here feeling what you’re feeling now, staring at photos with this toxic cocktail of emotions, looking into a chapter of your life that closed before you were ready.

But you’ll close the tab, the window, the browser, the texts – and you’ll look up. You’ll see the people around you trying to lift you up. Help keep you together, make you whole. They’ll take you drinking, dancing, eating. They’ll let you stay in their beds, in their cities, go on trips with you. They are your safety net. Your in case of emergency contacts. And this is one hell of a motherfucking emergency.

So, GWGD, with all this said, I know you’re going to be fine. You’ll have ups and downs just like the rest of us, not that the solidarity really means much to you now (or let’s be honest, ever). But at the end of the day you’re just another girl who got dumped, and soon you’ll be another girl who met a guy, another girl who got let down, another girl who (fingers crossed) fell in love. So stay tuned GWGD, there’s more in store for you. I’m (mostly) sure of it. TC mark

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