Slut Shaming Women Who Act Like Men Is Bullshit

Samantha Jones
Sex and the City

Have you ever noticed that when women act like men the men have no idea how to handle it? I have noticed it a lot lately. Sometimes they just lose their words and other times they retaliate unfairly as if their manhood has been insulted.

Slut shaming is unacceptable, but it is so, so real. But when did it become common practice for women to be put down for acting in ways that men do every single day? Women are not allowed to be “players” in our society, and when they are…shock ensues.

If a woman wants to sleep with multiple men at the same time, all of whom cannot commit to her and play games with her emotions all the while, then why when they get rejected or hurt by her do they get to slut shame her?

Here’s the thing. They don’t.

It needs to stop. Now.

I’m tired of being called a slut, whether directly or indirectly, for living my life the “male way.”

I was in a committed relationship for three years, and my ex cheated on me both physically and emotionally. It tore me apart. Because I go all in. I give it all I have when it comes to love and any relationship I am involved in. So when I got out of it, I wanted to run free, date and sleep around as I pleased. I was conscientious of everyone’s feelings involved and made it clear what I was doing. This behavior was usually fueled by them not being able to commit or flaking out on plans with me over and over until I became numb to it.

I’m tired of being judged when I make conscious decisions to “think with my dick” once and awhile. Men do it all the time, and people just brush it off. Just because I am a responsible, respectable, independent woman doesn’t mean I have to behave and wait with bated breath for the man to come to me. But I’m expected to be that way.

I am tired of being told how I feel. I am tired of being told I am trying to have a relationship when really, I hate to break it to you, I’m not. I am tired of being told what I can and cannot do.

NO. I am trying to sleep with you. I’m owning it, and I’m being honest even though you have told yourself that I am trying to weasel my way into a relationship. So don’t then turn around later and slut shame me when you knew this and when you pushed me away time and time again (yes, I’m referring to a specific situation).

I’m not sorry for being blunt, and I’m not sorry for being honest. The double standard needs to be demolished, and in 2018 I’m kicking it in the balls.

I am a strong, confident, loving, caring, intelligent woman and if I want to have sex after the first date, then I will. This does not say anything about my character or my morals. It says I am free to do what I want with my body and I will stand by the decisions I make and be responsible for them.

This past year has helped me reach the solid place I am in now, in a happy, committed relationship with the man of my dreams. Last year I did my thing, I had my fun, and now I have found a partner. But just because I let loose for a little while doesn’t mean I am not worthy or capable of having that real love now.

It doesn’t mean I am a slut.

And if reading this made you uncomfortable, good. Think about why. Really think about it and then reconsider.

For all the men that told me I was wrong for living my truth at the moment can suck it. In the words of the beloved Kesha, “I’m a mother fucking woman.” Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Related

More From Thought Catalog