Social media is great sometimes. It’s a way to show off how cute you look or how great of a hair day you’re having, but it has completely taken away the meaning of relationships. In our society, people live for their electronic devices- I mean can you remember the last time you went somewhere without snapchatting it or Instagramming it? It’s becoming a crazy sort of addiction that is becoming a huge problem when trying to foster relationships with other people.
Nowadays, relationships have become less about romantic gestures and more about likes and WCW’s. We allow minimum effort to be accepted when we should really be wanting more out of our relationships. “Omg he liked my picture! He totally likes me.” How much effort does it really take to scroll down your timeline and like a picture? None- but for some reason, we accept this as a romantic gesture. We’re selling ourselves short, and it all comes down to how social media has transformed dating.
1. The lack of social skills.
Sliding into your DM’s, Facebook messaging, it all gives people the confidence to create a conversation over the internet. But when we go on dates with these people, we don’t know how to interact with them. It’s a lot easier to message someone through Twitter, but how easy is it to carry on a conversation in person? Adding a smiley face is sometimes too much, adding a period means you’re mad, and adding too many syllables probably means you’re drunk. Texting and messaging has made communication easier, but it has also taken away the feeling of real conversation.
2. Minimal Effort.
“Are you guys like a thing?”
“We’ve had a 7 day Snapchat streak, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.”
Sending him three selfies a day does not substitute for prolonged contact. It’s great that he’s replying and all, but you have to ask yourself, how many other girls is he also replying to? A long snapchat streak does not make you official, it makes his snapchat game strong because he’s obviously hot and he know’s it.
3. Unrealistic Expectations.
We follow Instagram models, celebrity couples, and famous people wishing for their life. “Relationship goals” has become way too common. Fuck relationship goals, be different and create your own set of goals. We see Instagram models getting huge teddy bears, and we believe that we should get those too. This takes away the appreciation for the little things that people do for us. We can’t all have a Noah and Ally relationship, hell they didn’t even have that, it’s made up. We have to stop having these unrealistic expectations for relationships if we ever want to have a real relationship.
4. We forget what living in the moment is.
When was the last time you turned your phone off on a date? Nowadays, you see people on a date staring at their phone the whole time, and this completely takes away from communication. Instead of enjoying small talk and the moment that we’re in, we are too concerned with the trending topics on social media to appreciate the atmosphere around us. We’ve lost the appreciation for spending time with someone and enjoying their company without worrying about what picture we should upload that will get the most likes, or if Kylie Jenner and Tyga are still a thing on Instagram.
5. Casual is considered the norm.
Dating isn’t cool anymore. Talking about your relationship isn’t cool anymore. Girls try so hard to be the “casual” girl just so the guy will like us, when really we shouldn’t let ourselves stoop to that level. The whole “netflix and chill” phenomenon has taken over this year and it’s because casual dating is the new thing. Why should we accept laying in bed, hooking up, getting a few texts a week, without a title? Why is it okay to have sex with someone that has no intentions on becoming your boyfriend?
6. Obsessive stalking.
“Omg he just liked her picture, I’m calling him out.” We know everything that he does, and vice versa. We know when he’s ignoring us by stalking him on Facebook and seeing the last time he was active. We know when we aren’t his best friend on Snapchat, and we know when he comments on other girls posts. This just causes drama and trouble in a relationship, as if we didn’t have enough of that already. All of these things lead to petty fights, which eventually get serious and cause actual problems in our relationships. It also leads to insecurities when we see these beautiful Instagram models and wonder why our relationships aren’t like them or why we can’t be as pretty as they are.
So remember, if you like someone, tell them. Ask them on a date, don’t accept this casual dating that our society has so clearly accepted. Relationships will always be hard and complicated, but with the invention of social media, it has become close to impossible to keep a relationship. Stop worrying about Instagram when you’re out with him, stop obsessing over your boyfriend liking another girls picture, and stop comparing yourself to Instagram models. Live in the moment and maybe just maybe, we can make our way back to creating real relationships.