You drop him off at the airport and try to convince yourself it won’t be so bad; you keep your cool all the way home on the highway, and once you hit your hometown and realize it isn’t his anymore, your heart aches. When I say heartache, I am talking about a physical empty pain in your chest. You feel like a piece of you is missing, you feel like half of your heart is halfway across the world.. because well, it is.
The first week will be the worst. You will wish they were by your side for the little things, like your favorite TV show or late-night burger run. You spend your nights wondering what they are doing, how they are adjusting, whether or not you are fading from their memory.
Distance can be terrifying because you truly don’t know whether or not the person will ache for you, or simply forget you. You will long for the touch of him, to hear him breathe heavily beside you as he sleeps, to have his arm slide over you in the middle of the night and pull you closer.
Those are the things you will miss the most. During the days you will be fine, occupied. There will be times when you will wish he was with you, but you will survive those days.
Night time is the bane of your existence. The loneliness creeps in and all you will have to comfort you are sweet words he says to you while he’s across the ocean, and counting down the days until you can be in his embrace again.
Weeks will pass, you will slowly get used to this new change, but it will still hurt whenever you wish you could come home from a long shift at work to someone holding you. Technology will be your best friend through these times. You will reread text messages sent from days ago to feed your heart. You will cry. You will argue. Try to not argue about the little things because arguing long distance is tough and you will feel as if you are drifting.
You need to show each other how much you appreciate one another. This is where your love will be tested. Sometimes you may think you’re not capable of this whole long distance thing, but I can promise you that if you push through these hard weeks or months, the joy you feel the day you’re on your way back to the airport will overwhelm you.
I know all of this because I am currently sitting at the airport waiting to board my flight to my boyfriend in Europe. I have counted down the days to this moment and cried so many tears because of missing him. At this moment I feel like crying, but this time it’s happy tears.
So please, hang in there, and one day you too can be sitting at the airport, two glasses of overpriced white wine in, almost shaking from the anticipation of what it will feel like to finally kiss the lips you have been missing for months.