Thought Catalog

Perfect Women Have Lame Stories

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MacKenzi Martin

I saw the above title on a napkin while walking through Bed Bath & Beyond and knew immediately it was the next piece. For real.

I have always identified with demanding excellence of myself at all times. While the rational part of me knows that perfection is a myth created by some societal norm or whatever, it doesn’t take away my desire to demand it. If anything it adds to it. Whatever “it” is.

I’m always searching for a better way or answer. Again, the rational part of me knows that subjectivity and objectivity are the only byproducts of any result that has to do with anything, but I also am addicted to the never attainable quest of achieving something that is, uh, well, unattainable. Bear with me.. it’s about to get funnier.

As I sashay through the isles of my beloved Bed Bath, miraculously gazing at the overpriced array of inspirational napkins, I see it boldly displayed in the center. A bright turquoise napkin set adorned with the mantra, “Perfect Women Have Lame Stories” and I literally have a moment of reverberation.

Because being the self described perfectionist I am, I suddenly realize how mad this makes me. Let me clarify, it’s not the positive message on the set of napkins, but the actual idea of perfection itself.

I begin to realize that I get mad at myself when I start to think about the connotations of what that word brings up for me because it brings up all my self doubt. All of the, “I’m not good enough, I’m not smart enough, I’m not pretty enough, I’m not talented enough, I’m not successful enough.” etc. I get all caught in my head.

I realized… wow…  I fucking hate “perfect.”

I throw this out there, why do we want to attain it so badly? What is it? We don’t even know what it is? Right?  Isn’t this kind of, absurd, kind of… dare I say… lame?!

Perfection is lame AF. Not only is it lame, but perfection is cliche. Perfection is un-original. Perfection is not funny, and not interesting. It’s overdone, boring, and mean.  A virtual reality enhancement on snap-chat designed to make our cheekbones look more defined.

As I continue my shop, internally repeating my new daily mantra, I begin to think of what personally interests me. Obviously, it’s all of life’s imperfections. Which, I mean… duh?, but really. Think about it.

It’s the faults, mistakes and the efforts to improve which I know to be truly cool and the only way that I have really learned anything, at all. It’s what makes the best stories at the dinner table. It’s what evokes the biggest laughs. It’s what we find the most entertaining in movies or plays, why we root for the underdog.

It’s how how we connect with each other, how we understand humanity and how we begin to love.

It’s probably the only way we can really can grow, or learn. Imperfection makes us motivated. Or at least, it’s what should! It’s what makes us exciting, and interesting, and unique.  It gives us a better perspective on life. It makes us kinder, more understanding, and more forgiving. It makes us more passionate and more compassionate.

Most importantly, it allows us to fully accept where we are, in the moment, without judgment. It makes us present yet gives us desire, a strong work ethic and takes away a manifested pressure that has never, nor will ever be helpful in our quest to achieve our goals and dreams. It allows us to be free.

So, thank you, Bed Bath, for the much beloved household items. And Beyond, I guess..for the new mantra? The napkins are proudly displayed on my coffee table. And ironically, the turquoise color scheme completely clashes with my rug. Like, really, it looks weird. Next time I’ll go with the mauve. TC mark

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