40 Rules For Even Stronger Women

ra2studio / (Shutterstock.com)
ra2studio / (Shutterstock.com)
This is a response piece to “40 Rules For Strong Women.”

1.

Top coat? Try, go gel, or go home. No one respects a chipped manicure.

2.

Handwrite thank-you notes for everyone. It says more about you than them.

3.

Never leave the house without your ID, mascara, and lip gloss. There’s always the possibility of an impromptu happy hour with a cute guy.

4.

Serum! Moisturizer only gets you so far.

5.

“Skip golf lessons and read two articles on ESPN daily to save yourself from being the girl who comments on how cute Lebron’s kids are.” –Male Perspective

6.

“Don’t mistake kindness for weakness.” —Al Capone

7.

Looking your best often lends a hand to feeling your best. Except for Sundays. Sundays are reserved for looking like you are going through a divorce.

8.

Skip going to the movies alone and watch one on Netflix. There is wine at home. And gelato from Whole Foods.

9.

Dead weight comes in the form of trying to pay your bills with other people’s opinions.

10.

If you have to cry, do it. It scares people.

11.

Don’t skimp on bedding, ever. Five-hundred-thread count from Pottery Barn, LL Bean, or Company C only.

12.

Speaking of high-quality bed linens, repeat after me: “Life is too short to spend time building IKEA furniture and waiting for anything at Anthropologie to go on sale.

13.

“Personalized stationery is an at-home office staple.”

So are a clean desk, candles, and a witty coffee mug.

14.

Quick guide to shoe etiquette:

Flats: work, shopping, hanging with girlfriends.

Heels: Job interviews, dates with guys who have a height advantage, hanging with girls you need to fear you.

Wedges: Whenever there is a possibility of dancing.

Flip-flops: Vacation and errands. Otherwise, make the extra effort to throw on the flats please.

Kitten heels: Still no.

15.

There is no dress code on Sundays. See #7.

16.

Beyoncé on the streets, Beyoncé in the sheets.

17.

“Whether it’s to impress or to be a better skill-equipped traveler, learn to drive stick.”

Better yet, know how to change a flat. You’ll shock and amaze.

18.

Quick guide to wine:

Skip it and order a Margarita; higher return on investment.

19.

When it comes to family, sometimes it’s more important to make it right than to be right.

20.

Never play on home field unless you’re comfortable with the idea of a perfect stranger in your five-hundred-thread count sheets from Pottery Barn. See #11.

21.

For dates you aren’t sure about: Sock bun, third-favorite blouse, and an upfront curfew of 10PM.

22.

Never cancel dinner plansl no one likes a flake. Plan accordingly.

23.

“Mismatched lingerie shows creativity.” –Male Perspective

24.

What happened in college stays on social media photo albums for all eternity. Elect to make good choices always or own your bad ones.

25.

Rompers.

26.

Keep your friends close and your enemies on a strict privacy setting via Facebook.

27.

A not-so-great guy will come along and you’ll need to evaluate whether or not you’ve been laid recently.

28.

A really-so-great guy will also come along and you’ll need to hold out as long as possible.

29.

If it seems too good to be true, establish portion control.

30.

Have multiple scents at all times: Work, play, evening, and travel size.

31.

Never show up to a party early. Nobody appreciates that. Take a lap.

32.

There is a difference between “boss” and “leader.” People respect the latter.

33.

If you’re really interested: loose waves, new blouse, and upfront curfew of 10PM still. See #21.

34.

Only pay for things using cash rewards credit cards that you can pay off in full every billing cycle.

35.

We accept the love we think we deserve. Adjust accordingly.

36.

Any amount of time spent exercising is automatically thrown out the window if accompanied by a poor diet. Make time to plan all meals.

37.

Don’t waste $35 on lipstick. This isn’t the 90s; invest in a gloss.

38.

There is no polite way to hold up other people at the cash register while you sort your shit out.

39.

Be an informed member of society and consistently keep up with Watch What Happens: Live with Andy Cohen, theSkimm, and the current Bachelor/Bachelorette cast’s Instagram.

40.

Use a coupon for everything. That way you can have material things and $ for experiences. Win-win. TC mark

Special thanks to EW, NG, KB and RR for their creative collaboration.

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  • http://maybemiranda.wordpress.com maybemiranda

    Reblogged this on MaybeMiranda and commented:
    I liked this quite a bit :)

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