Conversations With My Preschooler

Shutterstock
Shutterstock

Our daughter started talking really early, so she’s been entertaining us with her funny thoughts and sayings for a while now. My husband and I started writing down some of our more humorous interactions with Aly, in hopes of passing the journal along to her someday, so she can enjoy them. Here are some of our favorite funny conversations and Aly-isms on various subjects, with our daughter (aged 2-4 in these):

On Weddings:

I’m going to have a lot of weddings, so I can eat a lot of cake and get a lot of rings to fill my jewelry box. 

On Missing You:

Mom: I’ve got to go to work now.
Aly: I want to miss you while you’re gone…
Me: You want to?
Aly: Yeah, and I might. We’ll see.

On Stranger Danger:

Mom: You cannot answer the door for someone you don’t know because you don’t know if they’re a good person or not.
Aly: Oh, so only you and Daddy can answer the door for strangers, incase it’s a bad guy?
Mom: Right, exactly.
Aly: I think you better just let Daddy get it for strangers. I bet you wouldn’t be good at fighting bad guys.

On Female Issues:

Aly: Tomorrow, when I’m bigger, can I wear one of those boob things?
Mom: What boob things?
Aly: *brings me a bra* this thing…a boob cover
Mom: Um, you probably won’t need one tomorrow, but definitely when you’re older you can wear one.
Aly: Yes! I’ve been so excited to try those!

On Foreign Languages:

Aly: I need to know more Spanish words. I forget them except agua means water.
Dad: you should ask Abuela or Abuelita. They know ALL the Spanish words.
Aly: They know them all because they made Spanish up, didn’t they?

On Daddy as an Infant:

I bet he had a tiny little beard. And tiny little tattoos everywhere.

On Christmas:

Jesus and Santa are coming to my house tonight for his birthday party.

On Ultrasound Pictures:

She looks like a little germ and a jellyfish.

On Taylor Swift:

Aly: I love Taylor Swift
Mom: I know you do. What would you do if you met her?
Aly: Well mom, she isn’t a person, it’s just a song on the radio.
Mom: Um, yeah. Every song on the radio is sung by a REAL person.
Aly: ……….no.
Mom: What did you think songs on the radio were?
Aly: I dunno. Like robot voices- like my microphone.
Mom: Nope, all real people
Aly: Taylor Swift is a REAL PERSON!? I have to meet her!

On a New Baby Joining Us:

If it’s a boy one, I’m not going to love it.

On Covering Your Mouth:

Mom: Remember to cover your mouth when you cough.
Aly: You know who doesn’t cover their mouth good? Daddy. You should tell him and leave me alone.

On…..compliments?:

Mom: Aly you’re so cute.
Aly: But you’re the prettiest, Mom.
Mom: AND you’re so stinking smart.
Aly: Well, you’re not all that smart. But you are pretty, mom.

On Pregnancy:

You’re not very fat so I think we’re getting a small one (baby).

On Cleaning Her Room:

Mom: Aly, are you even cleaning your room?
Aly: No. But I AM beautiful and charming, and you will love me even if I don’t clean my room.

On Heaven and Hell:

Aly: I’m just so sad about Grouper.
Mom: Who?
Aly: My fish! He died, you know?
Mom: Yeah, like a year and a half ago!
Aly: I don’t know if he got through the gate.
Mom: What gate?
Aly: Of heaven! Where Jesus is! Only good people get in, you know?
Mom: Grouper was a good fish.
Aly: I don’t know if he was or not. He didn’t talk, so I couldn’t tell.
……
Aly: I hope Jesus remembers to just feed him one little pinch of food.

On how to insult your Uncle:

Aly: Uncle Nolan, quit being dick-less!
Nolan: quit….what? What did you call me?
Mom: Ridiculous
Aly: yeah, I said that, quit being dick-less!

On Hunger:

I’m SO HUNGRY. I can’t hold my hungrys in anymore.

On Helping Around the House:

Mom: What kind of chores would you like to do? What would you like to be on your chore chart?
Aly: Probably reading, watching TV and playing toys

On nick-names:

Mom: Get in your seat, sweet girl.
Aly: Don’t call me sweet girl. I don’t want to be sweet.
Mom: Ok. Then what should I call you?
Aly: Call me strong girl. I’d like to be strong.
Mom: Alright strong girl, get in your carseat.
Aly: And we’ll call YOU…big mama.

On Taylor Swift and Pooping:

Aly: why do I HAVE to eat brown rice, berries and broccoli for lunch?
Mom: Because your doctor said you need fiber. You’re having trouble pooping today.
Aly: Just like my favorite….Taylor Swift.
Mom: Taylor Swift has trouble pooping?
Aly: Yes.
Mom: How would you know that?
Aly: She sings about it in that song…trouble, trouble, trouble.
Mom: Oh, yeah. I get it now. Totally about trouble pooping, I’m sure.

On Boobs:

Aly: I like your bellybuttons mom.
Mom: bellybuttons? I only have one.
Aly: Your upper ones, not your bottom one. *points to nipples*

On Reading the Ugly Duckling Before Bed:

I’m going to grow up to be a beautiful butterfly next week. But you’re still going to be just a mom.

On Being Woken Up Early:

I don’t like early mornings. Can we do this some other time?

On Taylor Swift….again:

Should’ve Said No Comes on the radio:
Taylor Swift doesn’t have really good manners. She should say no thanks instead of no all the time. TC mark

More From Thought Catalog

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/peter-burns/2015/02/20-ancient-quotes-to-inspire-you-when-you-need-a-kick-in-the-ass/ 20 Ancient Quotes To Inspire You When You Need A Kick In The Ass | Thought Catalog

    […] Read this: Conversations With My Preschooler Cataloged in […]

blog comments powered by Disqus