1. There is no closure.
This is the hardest part of an almost relationship. There is no closure. There is no reason why it didn’t happen.
One moment you are there thinking about the possibilities of dating this person. The next moment you find out he or she did not think of you in the same way.
But why not? Why couldn’t you have been a couple? They don’t have a legit answer for that. And thus you are leaving yourself wondering why it did not happen.
You come up with various answers for that, but none seems to give you that closure. Nothing seems to give peace to your mind. In truth, just like the whole relationship was in your head, the closure is also in your head. You try to make meaning out of the littlest things.
It does hurt when you see that person getting into a relationship with somebody else. Makes you wonder why that couldn’t have been you. You start comparing.
But to be honest you there will be no closure. Not from their side anyway. You just have to accept the fact that it was never going to happen and move on. The faster you do the better you will feel.
2. Expectations remained just expectations.
You were not in a relationship with that person. That person did not owe you anything. No promises were made nor were any hopes given.
But that does not mean you did not expect anything out of that “almost relationship.” There were times when he made you feel special. Went out of his way to get things done for you. There were moments when she called you something sweet. Made you feel that she might feel something for you, after all. All these things built up your expectations.
You felt that there may be a future for you two, after all. So you forgot about everything else and waited for things to happen. You waited even longer. You kept on waiting before you finally realized nothing was going to happen. Your expectations came crashing down on you.
3. You only know your side of the story.
The thing about almost relationships is that you don’t get to fully know how the other person felt about you. You were ready to commit to that person, but he or she wasn’t.
But why was that? Was it because you did something? Was it because you said something unintentionally? You keep questioning. Like they say, you are your worst critic. You drive yourself crazy thinking about such things. You blame yourself for everything and wonder what would have happened if you had done things differently.
Truth is you don’t know what the other person felt. You just assumed that they had the same feelings as you did. So you expected things would take a step forward. It did not happen.
Sometimes you just have to let go of things. You tried and it did not happen. So maybe it wasn’t mean to be in the first place.
4. Your friends don’t know the real story.
We all have those friends who know everything about us. They know what we are going through and are always there to lend a helping hand or even an ear to listen to our problems.
But in cases like almost relationships, these friends don’t really understand our troubles. Why is that? It is because they are used to seeing that on and off thing you have with your almost partner. They believe that it’s a temporary break and that you two will get back together eventually.
They cannot understand the fact that maybe it was never meant to be. Your friend will keep on giving you hope that you might eventually have a relationship with that person. They try to turn you optimistic.
However this same optimism pushes you further back into believing that things might change. You don’t get over that person because you hope that maybe things will turn out differently.
5. You can’t deal with what could have been.
When you talk to somebody on a regular basis you develop a ritual with that person. You expect things to continue in the same way.
This is why we think that there is a future for us with that person. Every little memory you had with them, every minute spent together becomes a trigger for what if scenarios.
You wonder what could have happened if you had the guts to actually ask that person out. Maybe it would have made it easier on you if you guys had the talk before things fell apart.